So It Passes.

It's been a pretty slow day around here, the weather is quite lovely this weekend. I spent it hanging out with the dogs, did a little shopping yesterday but not much. I continue to work in the woods, if I don't keep up clipping the growth back the paths I've managed to clear over the winter quickly revert to Deep Woods Status. I used our old patio chairs back there, recycling them to be seating for reading - I take my ereader out there. I sit in my little wooded alcoves while the dogs pretend they are Wild Savage Things. Since I have a few chairs we can change the area so all the wildlife is equally harassed. Reuben has gotten quite stealthy, the other day there was a woodpecker not paying particularly close attention to the world's finest and almost lost his tail feathers. It was pretty close and I doubt he'll be that neglectful again! The rabbits continue to tease them, the usual. I have been plagued as of late by unexpected bouts of grieving. It's not very bad, but it's like the other day I was driving home and all of the sudden all I could think about was our dog Pearl and how very much I missed her. Or last night while reading a part of the current trilogy one of the characters passed away and there I was, with tears pouring, just wanting Mikio and Setsu back, if only for a short time. I'm not sure if that's a result of age - or not. As we get older of course people close to us start passing away, aunts, uncles, grandparents - and it's not the fact that they die that bothers me so much. I'm going to die too - not a newsflash, we all come to the point (of course with me, my enormous yarn stash will keep me here through the millennium...). But the part that bothers me the most - is the alone part. When people and pets die, it's so awful at first - it gets better, but it never quite goes away. 90% of the time it doesn't bother me, usually it's pleasant memories but there are those times when it truly stills my heart. And the grief is so tangible, such a solid thing you can almost place your hand on your chest and feel it. Then today, it passes and I'm left feeling a little drained and at loose ends - by tomorrow it will be gone. In the meantime I keep busy which will help it pass, I scrubbed the basement floor, cleaned out the fridge, play with the dogs in the woods. David is still on hiatus so Molly and Reuben are enjoying sleeping in the bed, they flop down like their bones have melted. I have a busy week coming up at work, but that's fine. I am still enjoying the whole thing and better yet my health benefits kicked in today! I am no longer a risk. Since I have vision I can get new glasses, I lost mine a couple of weeks ago for good - I have the pair from last year so I can see but I can use a new pair anyhow.

Logistics.

My dentist's office called the other day to schedule an appointment and I told her I'd call her back next week. This morning I was thinking about it, I might need to get a new dentist. Working in Pittsburgh makes having appointments a bit of a challenge - I leave around 7am, get home between 6 and 7pm so that doesn't leave a whole lot of time for anything else during the week. Some of it I can work around, my car gets serviced in Waynesburg so if I work late one day I can leave a little earlier the next. I worked half a day Saturday so I was able to leave early yesterday to get new tires. Mine were balding and then last week the back one started a slow leak. Waynesburg is sort of on the way home so it's do-able. My doctor has weekend hours and the glaucoma specialist who is also in West Virginia - well, for him I'll just have to take a personal day. My eye appointments I generally can't drive anyhow and even when I worked in West Virginia I would have to take the day off anyhow. But aside from that stuff - and most of it is workable, it's not too bad. I've been doing a little bit of exploring around the area too, Pittsburgh can be very surprising. One of the things that surprised me is what a green city it is - there are organic stores all over, lots of biking, jogging trails and parks. When I shop I bring my own reusable bags - and in most of the store they'll ask if you need one at all. I'm still wending my way around it but spend more time (sort of)knowing where I am as opposed to not a clue. I'm getting there. Things are a bit slow at home as you may have guessed, the house in Clarksburg remains on the market - I think the one in Bruceton took about 3 months to sell so no widespread panic in the streets yet. David has started gutting the Fairmont house - he's putting off buying major supplies until we have a buyer for house #1. We're actually playing around with keeping house #2 for a rental and then borrowing against it for the next round. This is a work in progress, we started off living in them and moving, then we lived in one for awhile before buying the next one. Then we bought one big one that we did NOT live in, now we have two that we do not live in, on and on. Right now we're at the yucky part where all our money is out and mine is the only coming in. But I make fairly good money so we're OK for awhile. This part stresses David out so he has been put out to pasture for a week - part of the problem with being your own boss is you don't get paid vacation. Unless I make him take it, he doesn't stop. On the knitting front I'm on the second sock - I will be knitting either another shawl or a blanket next, have not quite decided. I've filled up my ereader with summer reading books and I've cleared quite a few paths in the woods we own. I put some old chairs out there so while the dogs dork around and harass the local wildlife I can sit and read for the summer.

Not Everyone's Cup Of Tea

Most people that know me know that I'm crazy about Vizslas - when I met David years ago he had a 9 month old Vizsla puppy named Lady and a 15 year old named Pooka - and I've never been without since. People that own this breed tend to be the same, we have friends on Face book and their pages are lousy with dog pictures too, what the dogs did today, etc.., if you open their wallets they'll have more pictures of the dogs than the kids. My two are incredibly photogenic and will work for biscuits. But as much as I love them, I would not recommend them to everyone. On the pro side they're loyal to a fault, non aggressive, playful. They aim to please and incredibly smart especially if it's something they enjoy. Molly knows that when I get the orange harness out she's going to the park and she leaps and twirls with great abandon, when I open the kitchen door she heads right to the back door of the car, even remembers to sit in the back. They're excellent companions, always up for a car ride, a walk - if you take a nap they're up for that too. They smell good - none of that "doggie" smell and they clean up nice - never met one that did not like a bath. Very sociable, our guests are their guests and if you don't like dogs, you most likely will not enjoy your stay with us. They're hard to discipline as they tend to be so funny you can't bring yourself to do it. Love to play, they start from the second they get up til they pass out at night and two will play constantly. But the cons - they NEVER leave you alone. You will be followed from room to room, if you go out to get the mail, Molly and Reuben will stand at the door crying until you come back. Because you ARE coming back - aren't you? They tend to be quick and if not well disciplined can take off before you even realize they're gone. Ours wear electric collars at all times outside because once they're off and running they can cover a corn field in no time flat. When I was out yesterday I turned my back for one second to stir my BBQ and looked up to see Reuben (gasp!!) racing down the road - he was ousting the neighbor's beagle mix from the yard. Molly is a counter surfer extraordinaire and can down an entire loaf of bread and be back on the couch before you blink. They need constant attention and exercise, if left alone for what they consider too long they'll dismantle your house rather cheerfully and take the fifth when you come home. But all in all, I wouldn't trade them for any other type of dog - even though they can drive me crazy for the most part I love them to death. In other news, the house in Clarksburg has been shown a million times but no bites yet. We are debating dropping the price as opposed to the watch and wait. I continue to work on my socks, one is almost done and the other of course will be started right after to avoid the Second Sock Syndrome. I went to the Sheep and Wool festival in Waynesburg last weekend - just for an hour. I bought yarn (of course) and apple butter, but it was not that great. Not as many vendors and no, I didn't enter anything this year. I did two years in a row and both times it was far more trouble than it was worth, especially the one year when I had to drive over to one of the organizers house and pound madly at her door to get my shawls back - after two weeks of calling and leaving messages!!

Just One Moment Can Change Everything.

The name of this photo is the kiss of life - it was taken in 1967 by Richard Moribito, a journalist working in Jacksonville Florida. He just happened to be driving by that day and came upon these local workmen.  The man hanging down had sustained a huge electrical shock that had stopped his heart. His coworker grabbed him  and administered CPR in midair restarting his heart. He saved his life that day and that young man lived for 34 more years. The journalist won the Pulitzer Prize for this picture in 1968 it was a life-changing event for everyone- I wonder if the photographer ever stopped and shook his head in amazement when he thought about that day - if  he happened to be driving down that road that day five minutes before or five minutes after he would've missed the entire event. What about that young man that died - what were the chances he would have a coworker with the ability and the clear head to bring him back to life and that coworker would be right next to him at that exact moment? I suppose it works the other way to like having a fender bender and you kick yourself sitting there waiting for the cops to come - thinking what if I hadn't been late for work, today - would I still have hit this car or missed it entirely? Or is it an event just waiting to happen, a pre-ordained moment in time there is no escaping? How many times have we embraced the What Ifs in life or the Why Didn't I's? Why didn't I save my money instead of blowing it all on concert tickets? What if I had finished college at 20 instead of 30?Why didn't I move sooner - or why did I move at all? We all have these demons, but I think if you get so wrapped up in that thinking, you end up stuck. Most of the things that I've done - or not - there was a good reason at the time, or at least one I felt was good enough. Do I wish I had finished college at 20? Yes -but looking back I also know I was not ready or mature enough at that time, I had a child, bills, too little time and too little money. I'm getting to that age where I'm starting to look back on my life and though I see a lot of mistakes, I don't see too many regrets. Someone asked me recently about CPR and I told her without question I didn't ever want it. She came up with a few What If's - but as far as I'm concerned, if my heart stops, it stops. Done deal. I am not angling to go right now, I have a good life, a great husband, two dogs and a cat I'm nuts about and enough yarn to keep Siberia warm. But at the end of the day I can look back and say - I did it. I may not have done it well at times, but I raised two great kids, my behavior at times has been atrocious but other times has been stellar, I haven't killed anyone and even if I don't succeed I do try to do the right thing. The people I don't speak to, well, that will continue. I have desire for closure or to set things straight. It would be nice to resolve things but we were not close before so it's not a great loss. If it happens it happens if it doesn't oh well. I think people take death way too seriously, it happens to everyone - no exceptions. You can delay it but you certainly can't outrun it - and it's most likely the adventure you hope it is.



Ka-Ching.

Well, first off, Happy Easter. Not a big deal around here of course, we have no religious leanings,  other than the House Of Peeps. I take this opportunity once a year to eat myself sick on Peeps, an event I participate in yearly as that is all my stomach can take. We are going out to dinner later and then that will be that. I finished the blue shawl the other day, I now have four hand knit lace shawls of varying colors and weights rolled up in my closet - I am getting rid of them as they do no good sitting in my closet. I suppose they could be heirlooms but in my opinion I still have a few good years left in these hands to produce something of that magnitude. I'm making a pair of socks next while I think about my next project. I have to stop buying sock yarn, little sock knitting bags, sock books, etc... I'm up to my ears in that stuff and find it irresistible. I announced to David the other day my next intention was to knit all the yarn I own - that got me a big eye roll and snort of derision. I suppose I should stop buying all that stuff to start off with and it would probably be do-able. These days I can think about it though, I've been at my job for two months now and I have to say the biggest difference in my days is I have time now to read, knit and play with the dogs. Don't get me wrong- travel to and from Pittsburgh on a daily basis takes it's time but after doing the math -


My mileage on my car is exactly the same as when I worked as a visit nurse.
I leave 10 minutes earlier in the morning than I did when working locally, I get home about 45 minutes later so all in all, I've only added an extra hour to my day.
BUT I am no longer doing 1 to 3 hours of paperwork at night so that negates the aforementioned hour.
I am no longer on call so that means little to no weekend work. If I work late at this job - say I have to see a client at 6pm, those two hours are flexed into my schedule and I can take off two hours on another day.
I can work from home two days per month, so if my car needs to be serviced, etc I can schedule it for that day. We are given laptops so  I can do everything I need to from home.


So on my paperwork day I did drop my car off to the dealership, I was bit over on my oil change and I needed a new windshield. The glass got whacked with a rock from a dump truck a couple of weeks ago and got a nick in it. Normally, people ride around with those little dings forever, but not me. A day later we had a very warm day and the cracks just radiated out from that little nick, one all the way down and the other starting to snake across. Sigh. It has been a very expensive month I might add, we got a little Whack-O-La with the taxes this year since we did very well. Then David decided to wash the curtains in the living room that came with the house - they promptly disintegrated. My car. The dogs needed tick stuff, they still need to go to the vet. There were a few other bumps and dings so we've managed to spend my paycheck just about every week. But the Clarksburg house will be on the market officially next week, then David does a few things around here - and will be taking a few days to see Ray, then will start on the Fairmont house while we scout for the next project. The dogs are doing well, we took them both to the park this morning and Reuben is doing much better in the car. The only thing we can't do is back up into the driveway, that makes him blow his cookies for some reason. So, all in all, things are OK this week - Happy Easter!

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors.

Spring has finally come to town - and of course we have zipped from the mid thirties to the 70s, par for the course around here. I'm not swapping out my clothes quite yet, next weekend if the temps remain stable I'll do it. I did thin down the winter stuff though to get a jump on things. I took Molly for her first walk of the season at Friendship Park, it's funny how fast they regress. When we got out of the car her tail was firmly tucked, she approached the path in a crouch, flinching when I stepped on a branch. But with in half an hour she remembered, tail up and trotting right along. We've been out in the yard quite a bit, doing some more clearing out in the woods where we spend a great deal of time these days. There's plenty of stumps for me to sit on and read while they sniff and dig holes pursuing imaginary prey. Our backyard is still a bit uncomfortable, our neighbors next door stopped talking to us because of all things - a ditch. Last year we had heavy rain and the ditch that runs in front of the houses also goes to a French drain that keeps our basement from flooding. With the constant rain we had  it ran in the front of the neighbor's - the neighbor announced to us it was coming from our septic system. David and I went to look, there were frogs in it and no smell, so we told him it was most likely just from the rain, if it continued after things dried up, we would address it.  I did a dye test just in case and David scoped it - it was coming from the French drain. In the meantime the neighbor sent a sample to the water company - David asked if he'd told them where he got it and he said he did - but when he gave us our copy it stated "from neighbor's leaking septic system". Sigh. David called and spoke to the company, when they were told it was from a ditch they said the fecal levels were actually low. Since we had had about enough of this nonsense David dug up the drain on that side of the house and cemented it off so if we do have heavy rains the one furthest away from their house will drain.  David called him and left a message - and that was that, he and his wife are never EVER speaking to us again. I actually didn't realize this for a month or two, one day I waved and - I kid you not - he turned his back and marched into his house like an irate 5 year old. Part of it is funny, I have to say there are times when I go out with the dogs just to see what he'll do. If his dogs sneak over here he frantically starts calling them, one day they got loose in our yard and I grabbed them since I didn't want them to get lost - that was a bit of a kerfuffle for him! He had to come over to retrieve them since standing on the property line and yelling at them (while trying to not to look at me) was not working, since they were dancing around me and my two. He came over, got them and left - no thank you or anything! Since we only saw them to occasionally talk to with the rare dinner it's not like we lost real friends. But it's just annoying since the second we come out he starts skulking around his yard and makes a show of how he's not talking to us. Honestly, it's a bit weird. Oh well, nothing I can do about it. Work continues - I've been pretty much on my own for awhile so I'm just getting into the rhythm of things. I go for a week of training over my birthday in NJ but David and I will celebrate when I get back. I ordered a new ereader, that's all I really wanted. I have to Kobo Vox which is more like a tablet - I really want a new reader. So I got the Aura HD. I do use my ereader constantly, since I've gotten it I read every day. The shawl is coming along, I'm halfway done with the border, then I'm done and on to the next project! Which will be socks - I was putting some yarn away and I have so much sock yarn I can't even talk about it.

Drive.

One of the things everyone seems to focus on with my new job is the drive. YES, my job is a little over 60 miles away - that's 120 miles daily just for the commute. And yes, it does take about an hour and a half each way. But as I 've said before one of my many talents is to amuse myself endlessly in the car -  I obviously enjoy driving since I've done it for years. When I lived in NY my commute to the hospital I worked at was about 50 miles each way, I've dorked around  the country and have been in home care and on the road for over ten years now. So, what do you do in the car for about 3 hours a day? I have CDs of course and being alone I can sing my heart out. There's no one in the car but me! I listen to public radio, are you surprised? The topics are beyond interesting most of the time, occasionally I'll take a break because they'll be focused on one topic and there's only so many reports you can listen to. I eat - I have a nifty little container that has a center for dip so it's usually carrots and hummus on the way home. And I found a site for audio books on my smart phone, the classics are free so that I listen to. I spend way too much on books in real life and with about 30,000 free books to chose from there's always something I can listen to.
I sight see a lot, I take a different route still just about every week as long as I stay off the main drag I'm fine. I could take the highway all the way up which would of course be faster, but once I hit the city it backs up and I can literally lose an hour sitting in traffic. Which I'm getting much better at I might add. Working in the city is so different but the traffic doesn't bother me as much as it had previously. I've learned to add an extra 20 minutes or so if I'm heading across town so I'm not freaking in my car. My new GPS is working much better too, one of my co-workers had told that Garmin works the best in the city and she was right. I do have one on my phone but the problem with that is if you don't have cell service you're sort of screwed. Directions from people still remains hard, if you live in Pittsburgh you say things like "it's on the south side" or "they're downtown Pittsburgh". I know where the Pitt Bridge Tunnel is and the Blvd Of The Allies, anything after that I have no idea.
And not to mention I've managed to hit ALL of the yarn shops in Pittsburgh, I think there's five. I got to the last one this week, it was OK, my favorite one is in Shadyside. I still have not found a decent Asian market so I'm heading to WV today to go to the one in Morgantown to stock up. I don't need anymore yarn thank you, I have slowed down (a bit) believe it or not. I'm on the edging of the shawl I'm knitting, it took me about 5 tries to remember how to do it. One of the knitting stores I like to stop in when I'm in the area asked me if I'd like to teach a lace knitting class. I am still thinking about it, but the problem is I would be obligated to do it for a few weeks and until I feel like I have time I don't think I can. But I'm beyond flattered someone asked.