Enough Time, Too Much Other Stuff

Many people complain they don't have enough time - that's not my problem. I have tons of time, but most of it is taken. I don't think I've been angry lately, more sad and depressed I suppose. Last Tuesday for the first time this summer I was going to be able to make my knitting group twice in a row. That may not seem like much but I'm out of the house between work and travel 12 hours a day - if I'm lucky. If there's anything after hours it can  stretch into 14 or more. That's pushes everything back so most weekends are spent shopping for food, cleaning the house, getting my stuff ready for the week so I'm not spending what little time I have in the morning ironing or trying to find two matching socks. So anyway I told David multiple times I would be late, I went to the my group and came home after 8p.... and he forgot again and had only gotten home about 45 minutes before me. So, I was upset - because now the one thing I have left that I can do, I will probably have to stop even that because it's not fair to the dogs to be stuck in the house for 14 hours.  It's almost halfway through August, I have been swimming zero times, I have taken no vacation, and today - for the first time in months I actually got out to walk in the park with Molly. But the only reason for that was because I had to take Friday off for a doctor's appointment and we got a little ahead on the shopping and cleaning.  I feel like I used to have a life - I used to hike on the weekends, I went to the gym, I had time to do things. Now it feels like I can't get done fast enough, going out and doing anything just makes me anxious - I'm constantly clock watching or calculating how long it will take me to get back home so I can do the rest of what needs to be done finished before the week starts up again. I wake up in the middle of the night mentally shuffling my clients around, stressing if I've missed anything, sometimes I'm exhausted before I get out of bed. I did finally get to the park today, Molly was so excited about going and I actually walked 5 miles, taking my time. Everytime I started to think about my Never Ending List Of Things To Do I reminded myself that list will always be there and it's not a crime to take a little bit of time for yourself to get lost in the woods. Hopefully I will find a way to balance out my life again.