Years ago I was having problems with what I thought was a blood pressure issue sending me to my Dr's walk in clinic early am, after work. One day Dr. Carey took my arm, did my blood pressure and said there is NOTHING wrong with you, but stress. You need to find something relaxing to do - at the time I worked across from a yoga studio and thought that was perfect. I got the schedule from them and they had a 5:30 class, I could just stroll across the parking lot and be all zen and stuff, even time to change. I arrived and changed, my future classmates started arriving in, well, not leggings and an old Eddie Bauer tee shirt. Matching yoga outfits with all sorts of yoga accessories - and they all brought their own mats. And Yoga Blocks. That matched. I marked myself as a newbie by using the off the rack stuff supplied by the studio.
No matter, I was there to de-stress and other mystical stuff. And here was my problem - I cannot deal with doing things slow and methodical, I need to start at X time, run through it and have enough time left over to stop for gas on the way home.
We started doing beginner poses, breathed through our Chakras, blah blah blah. The second class was worse - I busted out all the moves in under 5 minutes, ripped through all the chakras and was laying there thinking about how much longer it would be before we were done. The yoga instructor did talk to me, apparently there is no such thing as a Yoga Race or Competitive Yoga. I do disagree about the competition, I could tell those designer yoga people were laying there pretending to experience the 2nd chakra but were most likely planning out their grocery list like me. As you can tell I barely made it through the 3rd session before bidding my inner yogi goodbye. After that I bought a backpack for me and a harness for Pearl and took up hiking, much better decision.
And here we are again, we have a LOT going on - we are selling one house, buying another, still have the lawsuit going on in PA with Mr. Jackass about the telephone pole, Christmas, work, on and on. I have not been sleeping too great as you might imagine. Some nights I wake up every hour on the hour with some other real or more likely some made up, super blown out of proportion pretend problem which had me thinking about meditation, yoga stuff, etc... again. AND that stressed me out. But today a light bulb went on - I had to take the little ferry home and it runs every hour on the hour. I stopped for coffee, still had tons of time to make it- then they were doing construction. Then a slow truck got in front of me and I missed it by about 15 minutes. Ugh, 45 minutes til the next one! I continued listening to my audio book (that's an obsession lately) and pulled out my knitting. I carry a plain sock to work on, it's what's referred to as "mindless knitting", the rain was beating on the roof of my car and my coffee had cooled to just the right temperature. And at some point I just relaxed -and I thought that meditation does not have to be sitting cross legged and chanting, that it can sometimes be just stopping everything and quietly doing something simple that you enjoy. The only time I stopped knitting was to get on the ferry, so I had an entire hour of not really doing anything but something I enjoyed - maybe I just need to start making time - to do nothing.
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