Taboo

So, I was hiking Coopers Rock today - the weather was perfect in the 30's, cold and sunny. I got Molly and my backpack - it was a short 5 mile hike but after my experience in the Delaware National Forest I always have it for anything over 2 miles. Not to mention you can pack everything in it quite easily. So what's the big taboo you're wondering- I'm getting there. And please note I'm a bit on the fence even relating this story as it involves potential humiliation. Of me. Because it's a problem all female hikers have and we don't ever talk about it. 

Peeing.

It becomes a big issue when walking for more than an hour, you need to stay hydrated.....but you don't want to pee. The alternative is walking with a bursting bladder which is the equivalent of driving with no rest stops, you can do but it's pretty uncomfortable. 

In the winter the pit toilet open is at the beginning of the trail, but that's it. Earlier in the year I came across some interesting items, they are - for lack of a better description, sort of a woman's urinating device - to make a long story short you can pee not only standing up, but without half naked gymnastics. I ordered two different ones (they're pretty cheap), both of which suggested practicing a little at home. Nah, I didn't even read the instructions, how hard can it be? When we arrived there were a few hunters, but it's a huge park (thousands of acres), Molly was in her orange harness and I was wearing a white tee to prevent being harvested, we were fine. Did great hiking, we did about 5 1/2 miles today, yea me, but problem #1 with the GoGirl - where do you go where no one can see you? You don't want to get too far off the trail, it's easy to lose sight of it. But when I went to take a picture of a funky tree I saw a big dip off the path - perfect! So we went off the trail, I put the GoGirl in place and it worked perfectly, at first. It's silicone so you can roll it up for it's container, but you know what happens when silicone gets a little wet - yep, it gets VERY slippery. Lost control of that little sucker and it flipped, hit my pants first - in the crotch of course, emptied and fell on the ground. It was great. At that point I was a 55 year old woman in wet yoga pants and pee shrieking at her dog who was darting around, not my finest moment. Fortunately my pants were black, my tee hit mid thigh and I was only a mile from my car. It was an uncomfortable walk. 

I did have to laugh, I technically didn't lose control of my bladder, just control of my pee. The only thing that would have made it worse was one of the hunters coming over to see if I needed any help which thankfully didn't happen. Oh, wait, there was one thing that made it worse - I had to stop at the gas station. Of course I did. I got my gas as discreetly and as quickly as possible. My pants were not really that wet, but enough to seriously annoy me and to maybe make me actually read the instructions.