Working Stiff

So - I went part time a couple of weeks ago reducing my work week by 8 hours. I mean it's part time but not too much of a cut in hours.  It is not working out quite the way I planned it, the vision of something and the reality once you implement it often tend to be two entirely different animals, don't they? The reason I did it was to reduce my driving a little, to be able to do things in our other house flipping universe that I can't get done on the weekends and to be able to start back walking and hiking. But it's had an unexpected side effect which is giving me anxiety like no body's business. I don't know why it's making me so anxious - and REALLY anxious. Middle of the night up for hours pacing, tight chest, I can't breath anxious which requires at least an hour of reading before I can go back to  sleep. 

I know part of it is I had not expected such a drastic change in my benefits, paid time off, sick time, etc... after all, it's just one day,right? Nope. The company I work for is wonderful (why else would I be willing to drive 120 miles daily round trip?), but they are not fond of part-timers. I thought I had read the policy and done the math, but when I looked again it at the policy some things are simply not mentioned. Part of me thought I should have asked more questions, but in reality I would have had to known what questions to ask. The whole thing is moot of course, my boss had told me at any time I can reverse my decision and right now we're in pretty good financial shape. We owe over $50,000 BUT we also have all the cars paid off, no credit card debt and own three houses, one of which we're holding the  mortgage to so that payment pays the loan each month. But..... that one day reduction........

All of my sick time got taken back - almost two weeks worth. Gone. No more paid holidays, no more personal time. My vacation has gone from 120 hours a year to 40. My medical insurance payment has quadrupled. I sort of knew that, but it's one of those things, until you do it you really don't know how you'll feel. And I don't think that's the whole of it, I come from a legion of Rainy Day People, you know, those annoying people that are always walking around with their own potential  Apocalypse trotting right behind them. We hoard it like dragons and their jewels, we blow it once in awhile, then worry and regret it. Should I have bought that new car? Did I really need a new laptop when the DOS system is still working on my IBM computer? I come from Bargain Hunters, we can never buy anything unless we are assured that nowhere in the world is that product even one dollar less somewhere else. I do have my hobbies, I'll pay full price for any knitting supplies and of course my beloved books, but lets face it, even going all out there's a limit on how much you can possibly spend. SO, I'm giving it another week or so and if I can't tolerate it I'll have to go back to the drawing board. On the upside I've finished 4 books!