Blindsided

So I'm sure you're all wondering what happened - we are still trying to wrap our heads around it too.Molly has been fine - she'd started having a little trouble with her back legs getting up stairs and on the bed, we were watching it and thought we'd get her to the vet if it continued. But aside from that, she and her partner in crime participated in The Great Garter Snake Hunt on a daily basis, shared toast with David in the morning - fine. Friday we were out in the yard when David got home from work, Molly did what she always does which is run straight at him veering off at the last minute, he obliged by chasing her around yard while she kicked up her heels zig-zagging  around him. Our usual routine at night where everyone gets a biscuit -Molly did what she does everynight, dances with it into the living room - for some reason even after 7 years that is the highlight of her day. 7 years. 

The next morning something woke me up early, I assumed one of them had to go out - Molly had a very large accident by the front door and she was now laying on the floor next to David's side of the bed panting. She was barely able to walk, wouldn't eat - we waited til 8am and called the vet. They were booked and suggested we take her to the ER vet in Vancouver, an hour away. We loaded her up and got there around 9:30, due to the COVID they come out to you and take your pet in, the doors shut behind my Molly and all I could think was how scared she must be without me. After 3 and a half hours of waiting the vet called - he wanted to do Xrays and bloodwork so we said go ahead and headed back home, poor Rueben had been in all day. The vet called around 3:30pm - the bloodwork showed an infection which was treatable, the X rays showed a very large mass which he said they could not fully diagnose without a full work up but it was most likely a very aggressive cancerous tumor - her best outlook was a poor prognosis. I told him I wanted to bring her home so I drove back to Vancouver to get her - they gave me strong pain meds and an antibiotic and off we went. We will be putting her to sleep in the next day or two, the medication only works at the high dose, she won't eat or drink and only gets up to go to the bathroom. She is vomiting bile. 

So, just like that we are saying goodbye and it feels like my whole universe is tilted. It is heart wrenching, especially since not two days ago she was running around, playing with Rueben, barking at the cat to Get In Here Now, our Molly. I have no idea what Reuben will do without her, they have been inseperable since the day she arrived on his sunny shores - they have never been apart. Rueben and Molly sleep touching each other every night, what will he do? What will I do? He is currently under our bed, I can hear his soft whines when I say his name - this is so hard, so terrible. I know once she is past her suffering we will move on, watching her is what is making this so hard, but I know having to really let her go will be harder. .