Testing One Two Three Testing

So, life as you have guessed lately has not been the best lately. I've gotten hit so many times I don't know which way to run and it just keeps going on and on. And in the midst of all this - I have the CRRN test looming up faster than the speed of light. That's the rehab nurse certification that I did the clinical for last month in Philadelphia. I have to tell you when I signed up for this nothing was going on, nothing. Now there's way too much going on and not much of it is good - home is a mess, work is not much better, no where to hide these days. 

I'm considering rescheduling, the test costs about $500 a try and it's only given twice a year, June and December. Do I really want to wait that long? Not sure, not sure. I have been trying to study but it seems like everything just slides at this point right past me at this point, like ducks on ice. When you're worried and stressed things just bounce - it did make QA at work a little less stressful - what more can you do to me? I am soldiering on - I got a good study guide from Amazon today and I'm re-listening to the lectures. I guess I'll just play it by ear and see what happens.

I'm hoping to get a little less overwhelmed at some point - but not holding out too much for that. It seems like when one thing finally calms down something else happens or we have some sort of explosion, it's very tiring some days. Very tiring. And I will not uttering any phrases that sound like I cannot take one more thing - because every time  I do the universe laughs and thinks to to itself - 

Game On. 

The Broken Road

There is a picture of me and Pearl that I will not post - in it you can see that even though I'm smiling, my eyes are tearing and I'm this close to breaking down again. It was a selfie of us on our last walk together, my beloved dog, friend, steadfast companion. I cried all the way home looking in the rear view mirror, begging her not to leave me, begging what powers that be to make this all not true. Make it go away. But it didn't, she did - a few days later found David and I sitting on a blanket with her while the vet so gently put her out of her suffering for us, a river could not describe the tears I cried that month. We've had many dogs but she was beyond special, I thought my heart would never mend. 

But then Reuben's breeder posted a picture of Molly for the rescue he works with  - we were sitting in bed drinking coffee and there she was. Not Pearl. We could not contact Matt fast enough, and a month later she came home forever. She was not Pearl, but she was amazing. We watched her go from terrified to playful - Reuben seemed to wake up the day she arrived - with so much joy. It was so much adjusting - would it be disrespectful to Pearl if Molly used her stuff? Would she and Reuben get along? But you know what - throwing out Pearl's things would have been disrespectful and foolish to buy the same things. Reuben seemed to thrive in Molly's presence and still does - he truly thinks the sun shines out her ass which is fine because she thinks it does too. 

So even though I lost something I never thought I would - something that turned my life upside down for a while - eventually we all grew to not only adjust to the new normal, but to embrace it. I still miss Pearl, but I know if she had not passed away we would have never had our beloved Molly in our lives. And maybe if I had not been so broken when I met her, I would have never gotten so strong. There's a lot of things in life that will bring us to our knees, break our hearts and spirits, shatter you from the inside out. But that is just a temporary condition if you see past the pain and can not only accept the changes but make them a part of your life. I'm working on it. 

Project List

I'm finally starting to get on top of my knitting projects, I finished the Day Lily shawl (tablecloth), I have about 5 more rows to do on the Easy Peasy, halfway through Girasole and the socks will eventually  be restarted. Two of them are left overs from the Pittsburgh Fiber Festival classes, I had finished one set  of shawls and then knit another set part way through for examples. The socks had been restarted a couple of times - I just haven't had time to look at them. And then there are the Future Projects.

I've got a pi-like shawl by Brooklyn Tweed called Arbre that I'm dying to cast on - it looks like so much fun. We're flying out to see Jackson and company the second week in July so I might just start it for that trip. Or I probably should just bring the socks. Sometimes it's so hard because I have so many patterns I want to work on and so much yarn. I have about 2,500 yards of a beautiful Kelly green lace weight sitting on my dresser just waiting for a pattern. There's a beautiful sky blue worsted weight on the entertainment system that will be a sweater someday. Sigh. And then there is the Project to End All Projects which I've been laughingly calling My Opus. The definition of an Opus is "any artistic work, especially on a large scale". 

It's a Russian pattern called Lily of the Valley, a friend and I are going to be knitting it at the same time which should be interesting. She's a very precise knitter and follows the instructions perfectly - her stuff ALWAYS looks like the picture. Me, not so much as demonstrated by the Day Lily shawl -  which somehow ended up having a 7 foot diameter even though I stopped 40 rows short. Most people would have stopped and ripped it out - not me. I knit the way I live my life, I just go ahead and do it - I can deal with the fall out later. The pattern was very small and VERY complicated so I took it down to the print shop near my office and the guy put the charts all on 11 x 17' inch paper - it looks as epic as it is. Then I emailed the alpaca ladies - as you know they stopped producing alpaca lace weight yarn that quite incidentally BROKE MY HEART. A LOT. But lo and behold they have a lot of undyed left over so I have 4 skeins coming and I can dye it the shade I want.  This is a project I have to work up to - hopefully I'll be worthy of it. 

Melting

If you ask me if I have air conditioning, the technical answer is yes. The unit is sitting right next to the heater in the basement waiting to be installed. The actual is answer is we have fans and one very tiny window unit that is in the bedroom we're using. And that's where you'll find everyone most days, I've taken to eating dinner sitting in bed surrounded by the Zoo. David has it worse of course - he's putting in overtime at the flip house most days trying to get it finished enough to show by Mid- June. He has one fan but I'm sure most days that does little more than move the hot air around. The rain has added to the heat and humidity, it's like living in the jungle lately. I don't even worry about the dogs running off - they'd pass out before they even got down the road.

We were out in the wooded pasture around lunchtime, every time we go out I returned drenched - thank goodness for my play clothes! I bought a few light short dresses which keep the heat to a low roar. And yes, David could take a few days to get the AC going, but we're currently residing in the Land Of The House Poor again, this is where we're reaching the end of project but have more money out than in. We're OK, but all the cash and energy has to go to the flip house, everything else is in a state of stasis. The mornings are not  bad at all really, but between four and seven at night it is hellishly hot around here. It's funny how just about everyone in my age group grew up without airconditioning - we slept upstairs with the windows open and a window fan running all night. I can remember the heat being oppressive - our friends next door lived in a house that they'd built using what should have been attic space as bedrooms, the temperature soared in June to the point of ungodly! But we survived and really, we didn't know any different. We didn't miss airconditioning because at that time it didn't really exist. We made due and survived. And this is not my first rodeo or my first summer without airconditioning - but make no mistake I will be weeping with joy the day it's hooked up. 

Aftermath

So, after a couple of weeks Adam is finally settled. You know, it's one of those things - when people say they've been mugged you think and say oh no or are you ok. But it's one of those things, unless it happens to you, you really don't think of all the ramifications. The criminal that mugged him took his keys, his debit card, his ID, his phone, got into his bank account and managed to get a few hundred dollars - and it turned it into a two week round robin. He couldn't call to fix things because his phone was gone. He couldn't get a phone because his access to money was gone. He couldn't withdraw any money because his ID was gone. And the thief went back and took his bike because you know, if you're going to fuck someone over you might as well do a good job at it. 

But there is the other side of things, people stepping in to help out. His landlord was willing to wait for the rest of his rent money,  working out payments if he needed to. His friend and roommate Jimmy was great - he lent Adam enough money to get by until we could wire him some. He spent part of his day off walking David through how to wire money, then went down and picked it up since Adam still had no ID. In the meantime one of the store owners let Adam use the store phone to make what ever long phone calls he needed to (when everyone has phones that go by minutes you can't sit on hold forever). Someone let him know you can get ID at Walmart (did you know that? I didn't!). A coworker told Adam her son was moving and he'd be willing to sell him his bike at a reasonable price. David helped keep up with the phone calls and eventually the money found it's way back to his account

His face is healing and I think he's recovered. During this a few people have shared their stories with him, his friend Jimmy actually was mugged right after he arrived in New Orleans. I'm sure it will make Adam more cautious, but all in all things have finally righted themselves. As I said when this first happened we have been so grateful that the only thing that was lost were things that were not easily replaced, but could be replaced. And it does go to show, although it usually does happen to somebody else, sometimes you have to be somebody else. 

Bayada Awards Weekend

When Jen looks at me and asks "how did that happen?" I usually respond with " have you met me?". So, this weekend is the annual Bayada Awards weekend  in which the company pays for 2000 + employees to go play together. As is my typical modus operand I had made all sorts of half assed plans - I was leaving from the new office to the airport, booked a shuttle, etc.. David's waterpump in his van went kaflooey right on schedule so I did leave from the new office, just not in my car. Jen was gracious enough to pick me and Alexa up and off we went. The line was huge at the airport, so long then shuffled half of us off to an Alternate Check In Point which looked like something out of a Bourne movie. Someone kept whacking a door shut which just added to the ambience. I actually did the bin thing correctly, even taking off my Fitbit but when I stepped in the scanner I thought I heard the security guy say something . I turned my head and moved my arms....... 

and earned a full pat down. Apparently if you move every yellow area that shows up needs a patting - sigh. I myself would have been taking pictures but that's just me. We got through that and off to TGIF. The waiter was new - we knew that because he said so like four billion times. When I ordered a veggie burger he actually asked me how I wanted that done - ?? I think I told him cooked! We got here in good time and I called the shuttle. I have no idea why I did that - probably a knee jerk reaction. Every time we fly out to Seattle that's what we do. Here - would not do it again. I called and apparently Larry forgot I had booked - he asked me if I was sure in which I said yes I am LARRY and told him I had a receipt. Not a huge I was to the hotel in good time. Our directors had a reservation at a great restaurant and then we went out to a bar called the Tin Roof.

I had a few beers and then hit the hay around midnight. Charlotte is very pretty and the buildings are huge, I didn't realize how big it was .But there's a lot of homeless people here too and I don't know how safe it is to walk around at night. There are a gazillion Ubers and I've put the app on my phone, my co-worker is going to show me how to do it so I will go home with a Swanky New Skill. Today is going to be super busy, luncheons, general assembly, dinner, dancing - but what fun! What other company does this for Thieu employees? I don't think any of them do - I worked for Interim for years and they do have something similar, except they only send the four people every year. We already got a bunch of presents and dinner too! You can't beat that, can you?

Mother's Day

So, my older son Adam let us know yesterday that he had been mugged. He'd been walking home from the bar and was held at knife point, the asshole took his phone, his keys, his wallet, he hit him in the face. Adam is ok physically, but now we deal with all the other crap that comes with this. He couldn't get into his apartment because his keys had been taken, his landlord let him in and that will be taken care of later. The police are very short handed and will be by eventually to get a report. He can't go to the police station because all of his money was taken, his bank is not local and we can't even wire him money because he has no ID to prove who he is. He sold his car a few months ago and got a bike - the transportation system is so good down there the car was just sitting  for weeks on end. But now the bike remains locked, the key to it was on his key ring. A neighbor lent him a phone to use so he was able to get his phone shut off, his debit card cancelled and new one will be coming. We'll be direct depositing some cash for him so he'll have something until the bank gets it straightened out. I'm assuming the guy took his keys because he assumed Adam had a car, but the bike is most likely gone too.

As a parent this is one of the most upsetting things - I know he's an adult in his 30's, that he was not physically hurt - but it's hard not to be able to do anything more than be there and offer what little help and advice we can. We can see and speak to him through Messenger thank goodness, but I'm sure he's getting tired of us contacting him every 15 minutes - did you shut off your phone? Is the landlord going to change the locks? Can you get a new ID at the DMV? Are you ok? What can I do, what can I do? He does have a game plan, he'll be taking tomorrow off and getting his phone cancelled, will go the DMV for a new ID, the debit card should be on it's way, we will get through this. 

And as upset as we are, we are also very, very grateful. This could have been so much worse, couldn't it? So, I'll take what I can from this - the debit card, the phone, even the bike will be replaced eventually - it will be annoying and frustrating at times since we all know nothing goes smoothly in this kingdom. I'm sure he'll be much more aware of his surroundings, David and I will most likely bury him in a pile of mace. But as upsetting as this is - I'm glad it's only objects that were lost.

Happy Mother's Day.