Drill and Fill

So I had a dentist appointment today for a cleaning and to replace a filling that had come lose in the back.  He took a look at it and used that horrid little metal hook that twangs sometimes when it gets caught on (me)something. Well the dentist said I'm not going to bother using novacaine and proceded to start drilling I just opened my mouth- at this point there's not much on the tooth that's real, if anything. It's a crown with a root canal to boot, the type of tooth that pays for vacations. But as always I just grateful I have teeth to call my own, crooked and a little discolored they may be. It's been a long road with me and my teeth, hasn't it?

I have genetically bad teeth - one dentist told me I have what's called "soft teeth" with little natural enamel, despite my brushing religiously, even in elementary school when my friends were tryng to see how long they could go before a parent noticing, flossing, waterpiks, I've had a staggering amount of cavities and dental work. My first dentist - who shall go unnamed - terrified me. He drilled my babyteeth, then they came out and he drilled the adult teeth - it was insanely painful for me despite the novacaine he said he used, the needles almost as painful as the drilling. However, please keep in mind this is my recollection and one that was compounded by fear. 

I hated him.

Then I became an adult and I did try a few other dentists but my fear usually overcame any common sense and eventually, I just stopped going. This was a bad decision on my part but it was the one I made. I didn't go to a dentist for almost 4 years and during that time my teeth did not take a vacation. I told myself I couldn't afford it, but you know, if you need to you can, can't you? My teeth got worse. David couldn't convince me to go, people would make comments and I would ignore it thinking it wasn't so bad. It was. Then I started college as an adult and I was getting very self concious about it, I stopped smiling. I developed toothaches. And then one day the throbbing would not stop no matter what I did - a friend of my sister's told me to go to Dr. Cuba. I did because I was out of options and Dr. Cuba pulled the tooth, there was no saving it. He told me could fix this but I needed to come back. 

I didn't.

By then the pain started again and I called and told the secretary I needed an appointment to have all my teeth pulled, I was done. I heard her repeat that to Dr. Cuba and then heard him yell YOU TELL HER TO QUIT FOOLING AROUND AND GET IN HERE OR DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK". So.....I did. He knew how phobic I had become and he promised if I kept my appointments he would not hurt me - I kept my word and he kept his. My first appointments were rough, they were 2 hour blocks with breaks, if he saw me so much as flinch he stopped and gave me more novacaine - there were days when I walked out of his office you could have hit me in the face with a shovel and I would have kept walking. He pulled a few more teeth in the back and then continued drilling - he filled over 50 cavities, I stopped counting after awhile. It was a hard thing to do for me, but I got over my fear realizing it didn't have to hurt  - Dr. Cuba told me to always do what I had to, you can pull teeth but you can't put them back. And mine are not perfect by a long stretch - but they ARE mine.