Hero Pose

I haven't taken a major exam in years. I was originally scheduled to take the CRRN in June (Certified Rehabilitaion Registered Nurse) but due to multiple personal explosions I realized the chances of my passing were about the same as a Unicorn showing up at my house with a bag of money. The problem is it's only given twice a year - June and December so it was a very hard decision for me as I'd been studying nonstop and delaying it six months.....but as I reviewed my notes I found I could not retain any of it, my mind just went pelting in 900 different directions. And since my job is paying for it let me tell you, there is an extrodinary amount of pressure. Because EVERYONE knows you're taking it, all your supervisors, a whole department knows. And there has been only one person that failed. One.  I did not wish to be the second one to fail. 

I waited.

I scheduled for the last day possible in December as we had planned to travel to Washington state earlier in the month. I could have done it prior to our vacation but if I didn't pass what a sad hamster I would have been for our trip! Eek. I'd been studying all along but when I got back I ramped it up, Christmas found me with a review book and a list of cranial nerves. I was scheduled to take it on 12/27 at 8am in Pittsburgh so I left work a little early the day before. I had rented a hotel room about 5 miles from the test site as it's about an hour and a half drive with no traffic from my house - with traffic it's about 3 days, give or take. I located the test site, drove to my hotel and settled in to continue studying. The hotel is very close to CHP which I had not realized, but it explained why my room had a full kitchen in it. That was fun by the way even though I had not planned on cooking. 

I arrived at the test site a little early to go over my notes one last time. Since with all the fun technology people have gotten very creative with cheating, taking these tests is not an easy task. You sign in, everyone goes in a group to the room, you sign in again. When you're called you sign in again, show ID, get your picture taken, all of your belongings are taken and locked up. You are warned against talking, looking at other people, staying in your cubical, if you need to go to the bathroom there is only one allowed, you're on video monitors at all times. You're not even allowed to bring your own pencil! The test was 175 questions - certification tests to me are the most difficult. You only have to taken one, but they require you to know an ocean full of information for a thimble full of answers including Homogeneous hemiagnosia - why yes, I did panic a little, thank you for asking. At the end you hit the submit test button, I took a deep breath and made myself do it -  I could have gone over the anwers til the end of time but I know if I review them more than once I'll start changing them. And then change them again. and again. I sat there while it calculated thinking about  rescheduling to take it again in June, paying another testing fee.........

I passed. 

It prints out a sheet stating this fact and I kept thinking it should print out a Tee Shirt that says I DID TOO PASS, the relief! Followed by the elation! All that studying paid off.  I called my mentor from the parking lot and she picked up on the first ring. Then I texted my directors, then.... I went home. Because I was beyond fried. I did go to the graveyard nearby for a victory lap and then home. I am so glad that's done, 

and I am very, very proud of myself.