Was It The Fourth?

First of all, I'm not a big holiday person so the fourth of July ranks pretty low on my entertainment meter. With all the COVID 19 restrictions in place, well, that just made a big mess of things, didn't it? The stupidest thing they did was tell everyone that all fireworks, gatherings and celebrations were cancelled, ugh! You know the best way to ensure a large crowd? Tell them that the Government said no, especially in Oregon, Home Of The Irate You Can't Take My Rights Away Flag Wavers. I don't think I've ever seen so many tacky outfits in one place. They had cancelled an event in a small city here, David and I had some shopping to do, we drove by the park which had a large home made sign that said Don't Tread On Me, a woman walking up to the main gathering area carrying  a front yard sized flag and more leather jackets with These Colors Don't Run patches on them then you could shake a stick at. 

We kept driving. 

The neighbors of course were at thier almost built house, the kids were up and down the road with dirt bikes, mini bikes, etc.....they did have a small party with  fireworks but all in all Calamity Jane and her brood were not bad. I had actually expected much worse as this seemed to be her type of holiday but they were done by about midnight, not bad. There were some fireworks throughout the night but it was relatively quiet over all. The funny thing is I don't remember the fourth of July last year at all - but we had only been here for about 3 weeks and were working on the house from sun up to sundown, dropping into bed at night from sheer exhaustion. We didn't see Kim and Steve this weekend, they live in a resort town so they follow the old Hampton Bays Rules which is on all summer holidays you do your shopping during the week, then hunker down at home for the weekend. Kim said tourists were pouring in, you couldn't get up and down the road with all the snarled traffic. They were prepared and spent the weekend brewing beer in the back yard. 

We got out on Friday morning, I wanted to go to Astoria and walk around, David wanted to come so that changes the dynamic. He is not good if you don't have a firm plan, "just walking around til you see something" is not his idea of fun. We got there before the shops opened at which point he announced he had not eaten. Sigh. Astoria is not a breakfast place. So the next 45 minutes was me trying to enjoy myself while he worried about breakfast, was that a raindrop, he didn't bring his coat,... - we ended up leaving before the stores opened, the place that serves a sit down breakfast was packed (NO) and that was the end of Astoria. I had thought about going on the boardwalk but Starving Marvin was about to have a melt down. We went across the big ass bridge and drove back with David driving - a mistake.

Me: Look! A graveyard!

D: Did you want to stop - you have to tell me if you want to stop. There's someone behind us, do you want me to just jam on the brakes AND CAUSE AN ACCIDENT. Jesus christ FINE I'll turn around......

Me:................

We ended up having breakfast in Cathlemet which he enjoyed, no, he didn't want to walk around.......so we rode the ferry home - the ferry is pretty cute. It only holds about 10 cars and the ride is 10 minutes. It's also only 9 miles from the house so we were home in good time. And David is a good traveling companion if you have an itinerary, but I think the next time I will be going solo.

We've Made A Year!

Well, it's a bit over a year, June 12th was the official Move-a-versary but you know how life is, happens when you least expect it. So much has happened - some good, some bad, some tragic but we are still here in one piece. The house will be finished fully around August after the project house goes on the market, I'm already planning and some things I've started. I continue in my job as the Community Services Nurse for the Area on Aging and Disability, it's still interesting. When I was hired it was a pilot program, the first of it's kind so it's been a job that is constantly morphing - it still is. But I love the constant variety and I'm always learning new things, plus it's so nice to work so close to home, my car is grateful! David is considering going into subcontracting as he is getting older and flipping a house by yourself is not an easy task. Plus RE here is way more expensive than back in PA, what we paid for a foreclosure in Astoria would have had us living large back in WV!! He's hoping to get it on the market by the end of July but I'll tell you a little secret - we've already had interest in it - cross your fingers for a quick sale! Then he is going to take a well deserved break - he had started this house and that other one we had to jump on so David has not stopped moving all year. 

The Corona Virus really made a mess of things on some fronts, we had moved here to be able to see the girls and Brandi - in the middle of February that stopped. thank goodness for video chatting though so we were able to keep in touch and as you can see from the last entry we are back in business! We had such a great weekend with them and hopefully they can get up here in July. Work has been a bit strange as I went suddenly from a 40 hour a week office and on the road job to a work from home. Our office really struggled with that as everyone else's has, but we figured it out and the good thing is they are now going to allow us to work from home a couple of days a week! I think we're all going to see a lot of changes in that direction - we all have the capability to do so but it's just getting people in that mindset.  I've had jobs that were from home and always do well in them, I find it much less distracting since I don't have any children running about. 

And speaking of..... I never thought we would celebrate our first year here without my Molly. I'm better, it's been almost 3 weeks but still have occasional crying jags - sometimes you forget and automatically get two bowls out for dinner or go to call them ......but there's only one. I got her ashes earlier in the week, I pulled into spot 19 at the vets and called in. A young woman in a mask came out carrying a polished wooden box and handed it through my window, I'm so sorry for your loss. 

I cried all the way home. 

But then had to laugh - a little - the next day realizing I had recieved my dead dog's ashes via Curbside Service. Jeezy Pete.  And yes, we are going to get another dog, we already have spoken to one breeder that I would love to get a puppy from. Rather hilariously one of her dogs Sitka is Rueben's half-brother. Yes, it is a small world. We are going to wait until David is done with the project house but Rueben really needs a playmate, he goes to the windows every night staring out, looking so hard. He is still happy, but he is way too quiet. 

We are seeing Kim and Steve tomorrow - there is one of the greatest gifts. I cannot tell you the joy it gives me to be with my best friend after all these years of waiting. So there you have it, we made it. A full year in Oregon.

Change in Plans

Brandi and the girls were supposed to come up here but she had a change in work schedule and could not get the day off. No matter, I took a few days off from work since I'm a bit low on clients and David double timed it a bit. It was Brandi's birthday this weekend and weirdly while I was going through things last week I found a couple of my old baking pans from my decorating days. The girls are four now and at the age where they LOVE to participate in any arts and crafts projects so I asked Brandi what kind of cake she liked and informed her she would celebrating with her very own doll cake. Do you remember those? The skirt is the cake and you stick a half doll on a pick in it, a perfect little girl project. We have not seen them since the middle of February so we were more than ready! We brought Rueben along after going back and forth about it, he's very well behaved and it's a bit soon for him to go to the kennel so he packed his bags too. 

It went well, right before the ferry we stopped at the Bayview Restaurant that we like, David stuck his head in the door to ask about take out thinking we'd eat in the car but surprise! There's a small outside patio with a gate, dogs allowed, dinner was wonderful eating outside overlooking the bay. With limited opening we had the whole patio to ourselves - it was so nice. Rueben got walked on the beach after - the only thing is we had to use Dog Poo Bags the entire time but not as bad as I thought it would be. The girls screamed when we got there, big hugs and kisses - it's so good to see all three of them again! Friday Brandi had to work so we babysat for the day. The playgrounds remain closed on base but we found other things to do. Everyone enjoyed walking Rueben with Nana and Papa - I made hamburgers and mac and cheese which Chloe did not want

C: I don't like that

Me: It's what for dinner

C: Mommy said not to eat that

Me: she did not

C: you fight me?

I'm sure I could have taken her but I declined  and told her that  we were not going to fight on it. Fortunately Brandi came home and settled everything 

Saturday was Mommy's birthday so we sent her out to be alone and got started on the cake. They actually wanted to start the cake at 7 am - No. Twins are fun but they are also at the same stage so everything has to be equal. If one adds something, the other has to too, if one stirs the other must too. I put the cake in and 5 minutes later was excitedly told it was done! No. 10 minutes later It's Done! Nope. Rueben got walked again. I did the initial icing and then gave them each a tube of decorating icing and sprinkles of which they ingested about 50% of. Poppop supervised present wrapping, balloon inflation and distribution of the party hats. They both sang the Happy Birthday song everytime they heard the word Birthday. Then they wanted to unwrap the presents and we discussed it was not thier birthday but Mommy's. They sang again and announced they would be "helping" to unwrap the gifts, blow out the candles and make birthday wishes. Hmm. 

We ended up having the cake at 3 since no one could wait and Brandi had been sung to about 50 times by then. They ran out the presents first, let her see them and then proceeded to unwrap them for her. They plopped a birthday crown on her, showed the cake, sang again, hat on Rueben, more singing and everyone blew out the candles together, the whole business was very exciting. And it was - no one appreciates the hoopla more than four to ten crowd, especially the planning and cake making part.  Brandi enjoyed the alone time, since she's essentially raising them alone having time to just go do what she wants is far and few between. When we go to visit we always make sure she gets to go out on her own and do whatever. Sunday was quiet, we did a couple dog walks, played in the yard, Brandi took a couple of hours to go shopping, we ordered a pizza and watched a movie. It was nice to spend time with family. 

This morning we headed home, Rueben did so well over the weekend. He was a bit nervous at first and we had to keep reminding the girls to keep thier faces away from his - not that Rueben would ever do  anything but it's a good rule for them to learn for ALL dogs. And they were supervised with him  to make sure they were nice to him, after all they are only four - I HATE people that allow kids to do whatever and then get upset when the dog finally retaliates. Years ago David had a short lived friendship, this guy and his son came over to visit. I caught the son beating my dog with a plastic sword and took it away, the father made some comment on how the DOG should behave!! Guess who never came over my house again - jackass and jackass jr. Yep, still mad about it. But it was fun and Rueben is invited back anytime. And they were good with him, we had to occasionally limit the petting as they would both pet him to pieces but over all it was a mutual admiration society. So, we are back home, the wash is washing and the cat is glad to see me, it was a very good weekend. 

A Week and A Day

One of my favorite quotes is by Sir WilliaM Scott:

 “The misery of keeping a dog is his dying so soon. But, to be sure, if he lived for fifty years and then died, what would become of me.”

I think that sums it up pretty nicely - it is nowhere as bad as it was the first few days after Molly died, that kind of grief can only hold you so long. I still have my crying spells - at night when I'm giving Rueben the nightly biscuit because that was Molly's absolute favorite part of the day. She would make us laugh because they had to go out first, when they came back in then the biscuit was hers -  she became the master of the Fake Pee just doing a loop and back at the door for us to send her back again for a REAL pee. But when she got her biscuit she would dance it into the living room and treasure every bite of it, she never got over the joy of recieving a gift every night. But it is getting better - for me. Rueben not so much. Vizslas are very social creatures and do better with a friend, we have only once had one dog for a period of time because it makes them very needy. Rueben spent a few days looking for Molly, he always races around in the morning but the past week seems to have a frantic edge to it. He stares out the window so quietly it's heartbreaking. The other day  I  had a forgotten to turn the volume off on my phone and a video came up with Molly barking - Rueben raced in with his tail wagging - I felt horrible. We have started taking him with us to help ease the transition. He was out last night and David will take him a couple of days a week when he can to work with him.

We went for dinner to Kim and Steve's last night and Rueben was invited along too - David was a little worried but Steve put the cats in thier room(they actually don't care but we didn't want to overwhelm Rueben) - and it was fine. He got to visit with his tiny friend Piggles and Kim made him a huge plate full of baked chicken breasts. We walked the neighborhood and all in all, he seemed to cheer up a bit. And yes, I know you're wondering - we will eventually get another dog. David needs to finish the project house first since someone will have to be around and I think we also need to give it some more time. I don't have a problem admitting this whole thing has knocked me on my ass - never in a million years could we have seen this coming . 

Ready Or Not.

So, I am home again today - I plan on going back to work tomorrow - there is only so long you can stay in the  house and cry. I hate this - I feel restless, I cry, I pick things up and put them down again. But I did sleep some last night and that helped. We obviously have had dogs die before, but never like this and never so terribly and so fast.That is what's throwing us - there was no time. No time to say goodbye, no ice cream dinners or favorite snacks, she could not even tolerate one of her beloved biscuits. Rueben is at loose ends, he is either under the bed or restless. I came downstairs to find Molly's collar on the floor with him sniffing it frantically. Why, yes I would like to have another crying jag, thank you for asking. There is no way to explain to him what happened and I'm sure he'll be looking for her, he already is.  But life does go on and we will have to go on without her. 

During this we had all sorts of things running in the background - did I mention that on Saturday morning as Molly was struggling and we were trying to find somewhere to take her the septic alarm went off? One of the pumps failed - here they have systems that have 3 tanks with pumps and floats. I won't go into the mechanics of it but if the pump does not pump the tank does not empty. David ended up just shutting off the breaker to make it stop - frantic situations are always more fun with an alarm in the background, aren't they? And Kim's birthday - it was and I had everything ready. She's still working to control her blood sugars so I had done a lot of research and planning to have a worthy but sugar free, low carb celebration.  She of course told me to stop worrying and apologizing, I said we could do it Sunday, Monday, next week, maybe Monday.....she just readily agreed with all 59 alternate plans I came up with. I love her. David got ahold of the septic guy and he said we should be ok til Monday since he didn't want to have to charge us a big emergency fee for nothing - just don't run the washer, etc.. So here I was Sunday with a dying dog vomiting and losing bowel control - I had blankets and towels piled all over, desparate to keep her clean and comfortable, we went through half a dozen towels, two dog beds, blankets.....and then she was gone. 

But yesterday the septic guy was here first thing and I started the first of many loads. We also did have Kim's birthday finally -  I found a beautiful herb encrusted cheese which I served with brown rice crackers,a very dry red wine, I made vegetarian pizza with cauliflower crust, and for dessert Blackberry Cheese Blintzes with whipped cream and water melon served on the side. 100% sugar free and so low carb Kim's blood sugar didn't budge. Having her and Steve over helped a lot, they brought thier tiny dog with them which gave Rueben some distraction. Last night was hard, it is so weird not to be fighting Molly for bed space or to wake up with her head resting on my side. But it will get better as the days go on and I am still so grateful her suffering was so short. I miss you Molly girl. 

The Story Of Us

I met you in 2013, January. Our Pearl had recently passed and weren't looking for another dog, but Matt sent us your picture and we fell in love. David drove out to Ohio to get you, Stephanie and Justin had fostered you, they told us you'd been neglected and had never lived inside - you still had a lot of social issues and they were not sure how you'd react to our cats. You loved David immediately, on the long drive to home you rested your head on his shoulder - that adoration lasted for 7 years. My first memory is Reuben happily dancing around so excited for his new friend while you stood head down and shaking, you had no idea what to do. It took awhile to adjust and things that needed to be learned - no revenge pooping if we didn't get up fast enough to your liking, no eating the cat or eating straight out of the dog foodbag - which by the way you did up to the end, I would see you munching away unapologetically if I didn't close the bag. For a while you refused to listen to me - one day you took off across the street with me yelling to come back - circling around Ed's house with Rueben thinking this was the best game ever. I had to make some poor man sit in his truck while I chased you around the street  with Reuben trailing behind me like a jet stream- he did not seem to mind though and I'm sure we were an amusing story over dinner that night. 

But every day things got better- Reuben was the best friend from day one, you grew to love the cat in a non-culinary way. You became so brave I could walk you off leash in the park - and how much I loved you. We ended up giving you your own pillow in the bed,a constant companion. At night after dinner while I sat on the couch and knitted your favorite thing to do was to lay with your head pressed against my leg or your head in my lap - as long as we were together you were alright. You loved being hugged, kissed and petted endlessly - you were the bellyrub champion and we saw that pink belly quite often! But Molly, you were not perfect - you would bark if breakfast was not served in what you believed was a timely manner(when your eyes opened). You were a Poo-connoisseur of the best kind and managed to roll in cat, deer, cow and even bear poo - we had to ride home with the windows down that day, you were so proud of yourself. You didn't like David talking on the phone if he was supposed to be playing with you, so you'd bark and howl til David would shut himself in another room, brat. You occasionally tore things up, but overall you were the best. Reuben and you were so close from day one, for seven and a half years you have never been apart - I have no idea what he will do without you.

Friday you were fine. 

I will not go into the details again but from Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon was nightmarish - I am still trying to figure out how. How could you go from being Molly to being in such distress? The pain medication did not work, you started vomiting bile and I could tell you had a GI bleed somewhere. We tried so hard to hang on but as I was washing you off so gently  I could tell you could not go on any further. Your face was so strained, you could no longer stand, my heart just clenched in my chest. The vet was so sweet with you - and us. We had to wear masks but no one even suggested to stay in the car, for that I will be forever grateful. The vet gave you a dose of anesthesia first and within a few minutes your face!, your face relaxed back into my beloved Molly. The pain was gone and you put your head on your paws, just like you always do when you're dreaming. I knew right then this was the right decision no matter how badly I wanted to bundle you up and take you home. Home, with me - the person who loved you beyond measure. David and I spoke to you, David told you would always be his girl, we kissed you goodbye. The vet came back and as we held you she put you to sleep. A day and a half Molly, not even two days and you are gone from us. And here we are, reeling with the swiftness that you left. I hope you are running the gamelands waiting for your beloved Rueben to join you in the chase - I miss you so much Molly. 

Blindsided

So I'm sure you're all wondering what happened - we are still trying to wrap our heads around it too.Molly has been fine - she'd started having a little trouble with her back legs getting up stairs and on the bed, we were watching it and thought we'd get her to the vet if it continued. But aside from that, she and her partner in crime participated in The Great Garter Snake Hunt on a daily basis, shared toast with David in the morning - fine. Friday we were out in the yard when David got home from work, Molly did what she always does which is run straight at him veering off at the last minute, he obliged by chasing her around yard while she kicked up her heels zig-zagging  around him. Our usual routine at night where everyone gets a biscuit -Molly did what she does everynight, dances with it into the living room - for some reason even after 7 years that is the highlight of her day. 7 years. 

The next morning something woke me up early, I assumed one of them had to go out - Molly had a very large accident by the front door and she was now laying on the floor next to David's side of the bed panting. She was barely able to walk, wouldn't eat - we waited til 8am and called the vet. They were booked and suggested we take her to the ER vet in Vancouver, an hour away. We loaded her up and got there around 9:30, due to the COVID they come out to you and take your pet in, the doors shut behind my Molly and all I could think was how scared she must be without me. After 3 and a half hours of waiting the vet called - he wanted to do Xrays and bloodwork so we said go ahead and headed back home, poor Rueben had been in all day. The vet called around 3:30pm - the bloodwork showed an infection which was treatable, the X rays showed a very large mass which he said they could not fully diagnose without a full work up but it was most likely a very aggressive cancerous tumor - her best outlook was a poor prognosis. I told him I wanted to bring her home so I drove back to Vancouver to get her - they gave me strong pain meds and an antibiotic and off we went. We will be putting her to sleep in the next day or two, the medication only works at the high dose, she won't eat or drink and only gets up to go to the bathroom. She is vomiting bile. 

So, just like that we are saying goodbye and it feels like my whole universe is tilted. It is heart wrenching, especially since not two days ago she was running around, playing with Rueben, barking at the cat to Get In Here Now, our Molly. I have no idea what Reuben will do without her, they have been inseperable since the day she arrived on his sunny shores - they have never been apart. Rueben and Molly sleep touching each other every night, what will he do? What will I do? He is currently under our bed, I can hear his soft whines when I say his name - this is so hard, so terrible. I know once she is past her suffering we will move on, watching her is what is making this so hard, but I know having to really let her go will be harder. .