Monday, September 5, 2016
I'm constantly asked when we plan these trips if I'm going with him or he's coming with me -um, no. We rarely travel together - we've been married for 34 years and I can count the times we've traveled together on one hand. One reason is financial - when we travel together the dogs have to go to the kennel, if it's extended we have to hire someone to feed the cats, parking the car at the airport, etc... it can almost double the amount. But it's actually the other reason - we do not travel well together. I drive for a living so it doesn't bother me to drive for 11, 12 hours - David feels 5 is more than enough, 6 he is tapped out. I like to stop at rest stops frequently, David thinks they're a waste of time. We both want to be the passenger. I like silence, David turns into Chatty Cathy the second the car is in gear and I secretly want to open the door and push him out about 2 hours into the trip (sometimes not so secretly). David gets mad because I don't want to talk. I love to road trip by myself, I can stop and take pictures when I see something interesting - with David it's constantly "why didn't you say something!" as we fly by at 75 miles an hour (I swear he speeds up as we go by graveyards!) - it makes him crazy with my constant stopping. So we travel separately and that way we will be married forever.
Saturday, September 3, 2016
I normally do not visit a subject twice - But Brock Turner almost warrants it, doesn't he? He's released after serving three months in protective custody to return to his home, which is not all that far from mine. Some would say he's punished enough, let's face it, his life is pretty much ruined. But probably not as much as his victim's not by a long shot. And he is nothing more than the tip of the ice burg.
Did you know that 97% of all rapists will NOT go to jail? That one in four college women have been assaulted? Or in 31 states if you become pregnant as a result of rape and you're not able to successfully prosecute your attacker they can turn around and demand visitation rights? Or in 2009 doctors performed an emergency abortion on a 9 year old who had been repeatedly raped by her stepfather (resulting in twins) and the Catholic Church excommunicated the child, her mother and the doctor that performed the abortion -but not her attacker - Because the church felt the abortion was the "most heinous crime"? And that was in 2009, not 1809.
I'm wildly offended by Brock Turner's parents - did you know he has a sister? Can you imagine if someone did to her what Brock did to that poor, young woman - would Dan Turner tell her she deserved it? That it was only "20 minutes of action" and she shouldn't get so upset about it? And the fact that Brock's mother condones what he did is horrifying, did you know she's a nurse?? I'm sure you're thinking, but what if it was my son? I thought that too - how would I feel if my child committed a crime like that? I would hire a lawyer too, but I hope I would have the strength to allow him to pay for his crime. I had a friend that was in that situation where her child had committed a violent crime (not a rape, I want that to be clear) - she was heartbroken. But she never defended his actions, she emphasized with his victim - he admitted he did it, served his time - and she did not give up on him, nor did she stop loving him or supporting him - I still admire both of them beyond belief.
This episode with Brock Turner has had a good effect, the judge that "didn't want to upset him" is no longer in criminal courts trying cases, hopefully he'll be removed entirely at some point. It is now mandatory 3 years for a rape of an unconscious person in that state - that will hopefully make someone think twice before they rape an unconscious woman. And two college football players were convicted and sentenced to 15 years for the rape of a 21 year old neuroscience student. But we still need to change our attitudes, to stop telling woman they deserve to be raped because they're drunk, alone, wearing a dress,asking for it, accepting a ride home from a male friend, attending a party, walking down a street at night, for breathing, for existing. And I believe in continuing to hold those accountable - to not use being drunk as an excuse, because that's all it is - an excuse. I believe these men went out with the intention of raping - the alcohol is just a handy excuse. A comedian used men being drunk as an excellent example - that if she went home with someone really drunk and asked to take all of his things - or she just stole everything - that would be consent because, well, he didn't object, did he? And if he did object, maybe he didn't mean it - he is drunk, after all. And if he woke up with nothing, that would be his fault since he was drunk. I hope Brock Turner pays for what he did every day of his life - and I hope everyone pays attention.