Blindsided

So I'm sure you're all wondering what happened - we are still trying to wrap our heads around it too.Molly has been fine - she'd started having a little trouble with her back legs getting up stairs and on the bed, we were watching it and thought we'd get her to the vet if it continued. But aside from that, she and her partner in crime participated in The Great Garter Snake Hunt on a daily basis, shared toast with David in the morning - fine. Friday we were out in the yard when David got home from work, Molly did what she always does which is run straight at him veering off at the last minute, he obliged by chasing her around yard while she kicked up her heels zig-zagging  around him. Our usual routine at night where everyone gets a biscuit -Molly did what she does everynight, dances with it into the living room - for some reason even after 7 years that is the highlight of her day. 7 years. 

The next morning something woke me up early, I assumed one of them had to go out - Molly had a very large accident by the front door and she was now laying on the floor next to David's side of the bed panting. She was barely able to walk, wouldn't eat - we waited til 8am and called the vet. They were booked and suggested we take her to the ER vet in Vancouver, an hour away. We loaded her up and got there around 9:30, due to the COVID they come out to you and take your pet in, the doors shut behind my Molly and all I could think was how scared she must be without me. After 3 and a half hours of waiting the vet called - he wanted to do Xrays and bloodwork so we said go ahead and headed back home, poor Rueben had been in all day. The vet called around 3:30pm - the bloodwork showed an infection which was treatable, the X rays showed a very large mass which he said they could not fully diagnose without a full work up but it was most likely a very aggressive cancerous tumor - her best outlook was a poor prognosis. I told him I wanted to bring her home so I drove back to Vancouver to get her - they gave me strong pain meds and an antibiotic and off we went. We will be putting her to sleep in the next day or two, the medication only works at the high dose, she won't eat or drink and only gets up to go to the bathroom. She is vomiting bile. 

So, just like that we are saying goodbye and it feels like my whole universe is tilted. It is heart wrenching, especially since not two days ago she was running around, playing with Rueben, barking at the cat to Get In Here Now, our Molly. I have no idea what Reuben will do without her, they have been inseperable since the day she arrived on his sunny shores - they have never been apart. Rueben and Molly sleep touching each other every night, what will he do? What will I do? He is currently under our bed, I can hear his soft whines when I say his name - this is so hard, so terrible. I know once she is past her suffering we will move on, watching her is what is making this so hard, but I know having to really let her go will be harder. . 

Eleven Months In

Can you believe it - we have lived here for eleven months. Eleven months since we packed up our belongings and pets, taking the 5 day drive clear across the country from Pennsylvania to Oregon to arrive here. Rather fittingly it is once again unseasonably warm just as it was the day we arrived. The difference is that the windows are no longer painted shut and the house doesn't reek of cat pee. The house is not recognizable at all from when we first arrived. The airconditioner is cooling, I'm looking out a wall of windows to my garden benches, it is lovely. It's about 85% done at this point, David is working hard on the Astoria house and after that goes on the market will finish this up. And most of what needs to be finished is cosmetic, spackling here, painting there. I stripped the oak inserts in the kitchen and hallways a couple of weeks ago, David wants to see if he can get them a bit further along before I stain them. 

The state remains locked down, we still video chat with the granddaughters which can be  hard, they always ask to come to NanaPoppop house and it's hard to tell them no. But Washington is starting to reopen in phases so we should be able to see them by this summer. And the good thing is because I can't go anywhere I'll have over 2 weeks of vacation saved. We see Kim and Steve every weekend observing social distancing, annoying but necessary.  And I have to say it has been so wonderful to celebrate birthdays and holidays with friends and family, Kim has always been a sister to me - now I see her every week! 

Other than work and the weekly visit we are home. David and I read quite a bit, thank goodness for our ereaders or we'd be peeking at each other over stacks of books. For David's birthday I bought him the last two books of the Memory man series he's been enjoying - ebooks are difficult to give as presents, it's like giving a ghost and certainly looks less impressive. So he got a lovely set of windchimes and two pretend books, he was more than happy with it. Delilah and Chloe video chatted with him with Delilah giving a 5 minute list of all the Birthday Things he needed including Birthday Food, a Birthday Tutu (she demonstrated hers for him) A Birthday Cake, etc..... it was a very long list. We're planning once the state reopens that they will come down, Uncle Steve and Aunt Kim will come over and we'll just have one big birthday celebration. 

So. A year. An entire year in a new job, a new house, a new state. Amazing.