Walk

Molly and I did Friendship Park this morning, it's fairly close and she really enjoys it. She's gotten to the point she knows what park we're at, when I turn down the road leading to it she has her head out the window with ears blowing in the wind and tail wagging. The trails are not too rough,there's a bit of up and down but it's not extreme. We've ditched the electric collar entirely as Molly does not go that far from me. She was loving it today, romping around and flipping over leaves. David and I have discussed him taking her hunting - this past year she's seemed to have hit a good spot. While we were out they were firing at a range in the distance and Molly didn't like it, but she wasn't really bothered by it. And we're having a teeny issue with Revenge. For the past 3 weeks when David takes Reuben out hunting Molly wreaks Revenge On David. Yesterday she ate all of his bread, the whole loaf. And no I didn't leave it down, she looks for things to ruin of his. She ate a glove, ripped open a bag o QTips, tore up some junk mail.

When he and Reuben come back she follows the dead birds, you can tell Molly really wants to participate. Hopefully in the next year we can get her to the point that she can go too,otherwise David will have to say goodbye to his stuff. But in the meantime she will continue to be my walking buddy. I've been looking for some other parks for us to go to, but since we're in such a rural area I don't want to end up driving longer than I'm walking. Molly wouldn't care, she loves the car ride too. We have to keep the window open, even in the dead of winter. 

I'm hoping the weather doesn't get too bad this winter, Molly is really enjoying herself - and so am I.

Working Stiff

So - I went part time a couple of weeks ago reducing my work week by 8 hours. I mean it's part time but not too much of a cut in hours.  It is not working out quite the way I planned it, the vision of something and the reality once you implement it often tend to be two entirely different animals, don't they? The reason I did it was to reduce my driving a little, to be able to do things in our other house flipping universe that I can't get done on the weekends and to be able to start back walking and hiking. But it's had an unexpected side effect which is giving me anxiety like no body's business. I don't know why it's making me so anxious - and REALLY anxious. Middle of the night up for hours pacing, tight chest, I can't breath anxious which requires at least an hour of reading before I can go back to  sleep. 

I know part of it is I had not expected such a drastic change in my benefits, paid time off, sick time, etc... after all, it's just one day,right? Nope. The company I work for is wonderful (why else would I be willing to drive 120 miles daily round trip?), but they are not fond of part-timers. I thought I had read the policy and done the math, but when I looked again it at the policy some things are simply not mentioned. Part of me thought I should have asked more questions, but in reality I would have had to known what questions to ask. The whole thing is moot of course, my boss had told me at any time I can reverse my decision and right now we're in pretty good financial shape. We owe over $50,000 BUT we also have all the cars paid off, no credit card debt and own three houses, one of which we're holding the  mortgage to so that payment pays the loan each month. But..... that one day reduction........

All of my sick time got taken back - almost two weeks worth. Gone. No more paid holidays, no more personal time. My vacation has gone from 120 hours a year to 40. My medical insurance payment has quadrupled. I sort of knew that, but it's one of those things, until you do it you really don't know how you'll feel. And I don't think that's the whole of it, I come from a legion of Rainy Day People, you know, those annoying people that are always walking around with their own potential  Apocalypse trotting right behind them. We hoard it like dragons and their jewels, we blow it once in awhile, then worry and regret it. Should I have bought that new car? Did I really need a new laptop when the DOS system is still working on my IBM computer? I come from Bargain Hunters, we can never buy anything unless we are assured that nowhere in the world is that product even one dollar less somewhere else. I do have my hobbies, I'll pay full price for any knitting supplies and of course my beloved books, but lets face it, even going all out there's a limit on how much you can possibly spend. SO, I'm giving it another week or so and if I can't tolerate it I'll have to go back to the drawing board. On the upside I've finished 4 books!

Taboo

So, I was hiking Coopers Rock today - the weather was perfect in the 30's, cold and sunny. I got Molly and my backpack - it was a short 5 mile hike but after my experience in the Delaware National Forest I always have it for anything over 2 miles. Not to mention you can pack everything in it quite easily. So what's the big taboo you're wondering- I'm getting there. And please note I'm a bit on the fence even relating this story as it involves potential humiliation. Of me. Because it's a problem all female hikers have and we don't ever talk about it. 

Peeing.

It becomes a big issue when walking for more than an hour, you need to stay hydrated.....but you don't want to pee. The alternative is walking with a bursting bladder which is the equivalent of driving with no rest stops, you can do but it's pretty uncomfortable. 

In the winter the pit toilet open is at the beginning of the trail, but that's it. Earlier in the year I came across some interesting items, they are - for lack of a better description, sort of a woman's urinating device - to make a long story short you can pee not only standing up, but without half naked gymnastics. I ordered two different ones (they're pretty cheap), both of which suggested practicing a little at home. Nah, I didn't even read the instructions, how hard can it be? When we arrived there were a few hunters, but it's a huge park (thousands of acres), Molly was in her orange harness and I was wearing a white tee to prevent being harvested, we were fine. Did great hiking, we did about 5 1/2 miles today, yea me, but problem #1 with the GoGirl - where do you go where no one can see you? You don't want to get too far off the trail, it's easy to lose sight of it. But when I went to take a picture of a funky tree I saw a big dip off the path - perfect! So we went off the trail, I put the GoGirl in place and it worked perfectly, at first. It's silicone so you can roll it up for it's container, but you know what happens when silicone gets a little wet - yep, it gets VERY slippery. Lost control of that little sucker and it flipped, hit my pants first - in the crotch of course, emptied and fell on the ground. It was great. At that point I was a 55 year old woman in wet yoga pants and pee shrieking at her dog who was darting around, not my finest moment. Fortunately my pants were black, my tee hit mid thigh and I was only a mile from my car. It was an uncomfortable walk. 

I did have to laugh, I technically didn't lose control of my bladder, just control of my pee. The only thing that would have made it worse was one of the hunters coming over to see if I needed any help which thankfully didn't happen. Oh, wait, there was one thing that made it worse - I had to stop at the gas station. Of course I did. I got my gas as discreetly and as quickly as possible. My pants were not really that wet, but enough to seriously annoy me and to maybe make me actually read the instructions.

A Day In the Life

So, we had to take Bob and Molly to the vet this Saturday, actually David was supposed to take them to the vet and I fake offered to go. You know, where you offer to go but in a way that discourages the other person - "I can go with you if you really need me to go with you. I need to finish up some paperwork but if you REALLY need me to go I can". Unfortunately, David is well versed in the fake offer technique and will quickly take me up on it. We are probably going to change vets soon, Dr. Hyde is rarely there anymore and they overbook worse than an airline. We arrived at 8am, I sat in the car with Molly and Bob, David went in. They were fairly quick, everyone got weighed (Bob weighing in at 9.4 lbs) and into a room. The tech did the vitals, then took Molly to have her blood drawn, returned her and there we sat. And Sat. And Sat. 

At one point David was going out to see if they had forgotten about us. The vet didn't come in til after 9, Molly and Bob got injected  much to their annoyance. So -an hour and a half later I took Bob and Molly out to the car to wait for David to get the paperwork. And wait. wait. Sigh. Around 10 we finally got moving, thank goodness. Poor Bob did not tolerate her booster shot well and spent the rest of the day (and night) curled up on the foot of our bed. But she's better today - David said she is no longer a free cat since she has cost us. But the vet told us she's free of any diseases, she been vaccinated and is ready to roll. The rest of the weekend was fairly quiet. We went grocery shopping like a pair of morons - no matter how hard we try we always end up back at the store for all the things we forgot. We ended up back out today as one of the items was toilet paper and we can do with out a few things, not that!

I spent the rest of the day cooking for the week, I try to cook anything that takes time on the weekend so during the week I can just reheat it. I had gotten out of the habit but what happens then is tacos every night. I'm officially part time as of this week - which led to a massive anxiety attack - don't you just love waking up around 1 am with your heart pounding so hard you can't breath? I finally got up and slept in the guest room so I wouldn't keep David up. Of course I was quickly joined by Molly& Reuben which is ok. There's nothing like a dog to hug to calm those nerves.  I'm still on the fence as to whether I'll stay that way. Knee jerk reaction is to email my boss to take it back but I'm going to give it a  couple of weeks before making any decisions. Not much else going on, work tomorrow. 

Things That Go Trump In The Night

In psychology there is a behavior called power reassurance - this is the guy that assures you he's safe, will joke around and challenge your sense of safety by making it seem like you're being a hysterical woman ("I'm just going to help you carry these groceries in, why are you acting like that?") - then he attacks. I'm not calling the Trump administration gentlemen rapists, but boy, there are a lot of similarities, aren't there? His followers are constantly posting recently about how "ridiculous" the protesters are, "spoiled, over-reacting, why are you crying" - hmm. There has been no other election that the presidential elect has been pretty much hiding from his American subjects, that there are as many marches and protests planned as there are parties for the inauguration. I did not agree with everything Hilary said - far from it, she had some policies and ideas I was not on board with, along with Sanders. But the big difference was I was not afraid of them. The morning it was announced that Trump had won, I felt sick and scared. Since I've lived through Carter, The Bush/Reagan war machine, Nixon, that says a lot. And it it's not Trump alone - he's assembling a terrifying crew.

Our vice president Pence is anti-abortion and has already made a previous run at de-funding Planned Parenthood. He signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act in 2015 which is a fun law which allows discrimination of transgender, gays and bisexuals for religious reason - remember that asshole that was refusing marriage licenses? She'll get her job back. The state made some quicky amendments but it should not have been passed in the first place!  Your incoming White House Strategist Stephen K. Bannon  is trying to distance himself from the Breitbart News, his website. They have published such charming articles as "Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Ugly" (supporting that we need to keep breeding to fight against the muslims), "Gay Rights Have Made Us Dumber, It's Time To Get Back In The Closet" and the all around favorite " Bill Kristol: Republican spoiler, renegade Jew". And last but not least, Jeff Sessions as our new Attorney General who once joked that the Ku Klux Klan was ok til he found out they smoked marijuana. which is only slightly more charming then when he called the Voting Rights Act of 1965 "a piece of intrusive legislation" - I won't go over how he feels about women, immigrants or Africans Americana, we all know. And that's so far. You're probably wondering when I'll start comparing him to Hitler. Right now.

Hitler did not start off with concentration camps and running his ovens. He started off with propaganda against the Poland citing "polish atrocities, with reference to real or alleged events (substitute Muslim). He mobilized the country against Poland before even one shot was fired. With the Jews he actually started off with positive articles, he was putting them in vocational training, putting them to work, let's all work together!! Hitler did not build his war machine in a day, it was a carefully orchestrated attack - by the time it was stopped six million people were dead. No, I do not think Trump is Hitler, but there are similarities. We are being lulled - he's backing down on his anti-gay, anti- feminists hate spew for now while he quietly assembles a nightmare crew to rule the country. But the difference is we have social media now so it's a little harder to manuver - and there are bright spots. There are marches already organized, every where Trump goes the protest goes. People are making donations to Planned Parenthood in the name of Pence, we will not go quietly. And we need to remember, he is elected president, not king. He does not have the power to implement on his own - and we need to keep it that way.  We, the people, the gay, feminist, African Americans, everyone, have made way too much progress to back down now. 

Stay At Home.

So, I've reduced my work week to 4 days instead of 5. Between the driving, helping David with our other business I was just starting to have too hard a time of it. Lately the driving has been worse with all the construction and traffic on the backways - avoiding the construction, my ride went from 90 minutes to almost 2 hours. Each way. Working 4 days seemed the way to go, we can live with a little reduction in my paycheck and I hope it will make me feel less like I just work to work. So today me and my sidekick Molly went to our favorite park for an hour of  walking  And for the first time I left the electric collar at home. I usually just have it on her so if she gets too far I can beep her back - but I've realized she never really lets me out of her sight. This is not true if we have Reuben who always feels as if he must see the entire park. Right Now. But I digress. 

Trust is a hard thing for a rescue dog and once you earn it - it's a rare and wonderful thing. I've noticed our last few walks if she's scared she no longer wants to bolt - she runs to me and will let me put my laughable leash on her (a hamster could escape it). I was glad the Australian sheep herder dog was not there today for our first "solo" flight. That thing is nuts - I've actually never seen one of those dogs aggressive before. I know people that own them and years ago a woman David worked for had one - it's name was Petey and you could hug the stuffing out of him. The last time Molly and walked by the one we see at the park the owners actually had to pick it up. I took Molly off the path and she just snugged up to me, but that thing!! - was snarling and snapping as they carted it by. It always looks like it wants to end us. Seriously. But enough of that, the walk went fine and Molly Ann had a great time  of course. 

I went to see if I could get new glasses today, I've been having a lot of headaches and realized they tend to be worse at work. It's not work giving me a headache but I think staring at the computer all day. SO I went to Walmart and they could not find my insurance on the website. So I went out to my car and called Bayada who found it right away and said they would email me my card. SO, I went to Old Navy, then the grocery store, then Barnes and Noble where I found a book I really really wanted but put it back because I have yet to find a book I don't really really want. David can vouch for this when he gets my ebook bill every month and since I've already bought 2 books I really really want. So, since I've reduced my work I put it back. Sometimes I lay on the couch and announce I don't want to work anymore. That I want to be a housewife. David has pointed out that if you are a housewife you have to do things like the dishes, and vacuum, dust, pay bills, a lot of stuff. That is not so appealing. Anywho, Bayada did email me my card but by then I wanted to go home. Which I did. 

Rolling

Isn't funny how all of the sudden your whole life just implodes - all at once. You go to bed with a tight chest wondering how you'll make it from one day to the next. How did this happen, why did this happen, why does it always happen to me? Every moment of every waking hour is just trying to hold it together, you just can't get it right and it's like being slowly tortured to death - you can hear your own breathing. 

But then things start to fall into place, not all at once, but it seems like as one thing fixes itself, the next thing does too and all of the sudden the whole thing is up and running again. That was us, that is us. We could not get to closing, our finances were stretched as far as they would go, I was so exhausted all the time and sad! So sad. But the house, after a good 3 week delay, finally closed and we are for the moment not in bad shape financially. We owe some money but we also own both of our cars and three houses. We are looking for the next one but I enjoy that. 

We are going to visit Brandi and the babies next month and cannot wait! We will also be seeing Kim and Stephen so it will be  super fun visit. I booked our flights a few weeks ago so they weren't too bad price wise. I finally got my skein of Madeline Tosh Merino Light in Baltic, the final upshot of that little fiasco was I got to keep the yarn that was sent in error after multiple attempts to send it back. Sort of a win win. In work news I'm going to be working part time, not super part time but I'll be working a four day work week, at least for now. Between the house flipping, the driving,etc it was getting to be a bit much so I'm reducing my work week. My boss was a bit hesitant so I'm doing it for now and it will be reviewed in January. Who knows but then I might want to go back to the 5 day work week. Who knows.

I'm 2/3 of the way through the shawl I'm knitting (the one I needed the Baltic colored yarn  for) and I"m hoping I don't have to order another skein. The upshot of that was I was sent the wrong color, the wrong return label was sent without a mailer to send it back -and it was sent snail mail. Our post lady took umbrage at returning a lumpy taped together package with the wrong address on it. When I finally called customer service the man on the other end of the phone at least had the good sense to embarrassed about the whole shindig which is how I ended up keeping the yarn for free. And even if it's not the color you wanted, there is no such thing as unwanted yarn.