So It Passes.

It's been a pretty slow day around here, the weather is quite lovely this weekend. I spent it hanging out with the dogs, did a little shopping yesterday but not much. I continue to work in the woods, if I don't keep up clipping the growth back the paths I've managed to clear over the winter quickly revert to Deep Woods Status. I used our old patio chairs back there, recycling them to be seating for reading - I take my ereader out there. I sit in my little wooded alcoves while the dogs pretend they are Wild Savage Things. Since I have a few chairs we can change the area so all the wildlife is equally harassed. Reuben has gotten quite stealthy, the other day there was a woodpecker not paying particularly close attention to the world's finest and almost lost his tail feathers. It was pretty close and I doubt he'll be that neglectful again! The rabbits continue to tease them, the usual. I have been plagued as of late by unexpected bouts of grieving. It's not very bad, but it's like the other day I was driving home and all of the sudden all I could think about was our dog Pearl and how very much I missed her. Or last night while reading a part of the current trilogy one of the characters passed away and there I was, with tears pouring, just wanting Mikio and Setsu back, if only for a short time. I'm not sure if that's a result of age - or not. As we get older of course people close to us start passing away, aunts, uncles, grandparents - and it's not the fact that they die that bothers me so much. I'm going to die too - not a newsflash, we all come to the point (of course with me, my enormous yarn stash will keep me here through the millennium...). But the part that bothers me the most - is the alone part. When people and pets die, it's so awful at first - it gets better, but it never quite goes away. 90% of the time it doesn't bother me, usually it's pleasant memories but there are those times when it truly stills my heart. And the grief is so tangible, such a solid thing you can almost place your hand on your chest and feel it. Then today, it passes and I'm left feeling a little drained and at loose ends - by tomorrow it will be gone. In the meantime I keep busy which will help it pass, I scrubbed the basement floor, cleaned out the fridge, play with the dogs in the woods. David is still on hiatus so Molly and Reuben are enjoying sleeping in the bed, they flop down like their bones have melted. I have a busy week coming up at work, but that's fine. I am still enjoying the whole thing and better yet my health benefits kicked in today! I am no longer a risk. Since I have vision I can get new glasses, I lost mine a couple of weeks ago for good - I have the pair from last year so I can see but I can use a new pair anyhow.