For some reason the other day I started thinking about a party one of the kids had gone to when they were little. I can't remember what kind of party - school, birthday, who knows. But the image that stuck with me was when the grab bags were handed out at the end - and all the party goers surrounded the person with the basket of goodies with one hand open stuck straight in the air, waiting for their gift to be laid on their palm. I guess it made an impression because I kept thinking how much it looked like small, bobbing starfish, all those hands. The hands closed as the gifts were distributed and the child left the circle - party over. It made me wonder when in life the rules change. When someone lets you in on the secret that life is not fair, distribution is not even. Sometimes things happen that you don't deserve and there is no retribution, no replacement, no even playing field. And when did I stop trying to make things fair for everyone? When I was cupcake mom I got a head count - and then would make enough extra the staff loved me. I was so afraid one kid would be left out and I would be responsible for ruining that little life, envisioning how my child would feel if it was one cupcake short, sitting at a cupcake-less desk while everyone had one. So I made tons extra, enough for the teacher, the aide, anyone passing in the hall got a cupcake. And my kids got as good as I gave - never shorted, everything fair and even. But at some point in our life, we get hit with an unfair situation and that's it for that - that we need to suck it up and be mature about it, take it like a man. That there's nothing we can about it, that's the way it is. On and on. But when does that happen? And why does it happen? What happened to the hall monitor for crying out loud? I guess it doesn't matter or change anything really - it's annoying and upsetting until the next unfair thing happens. I want my cupcake rules back.