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Monday, April 25, 2011

The Peeps Win


I was going to eat no Easter candy this year - I was being Strong. David and I decided to go out for an early dinner, but first we went to the bookstore and hung out, then we went to Home Depot. I was waiting out in the car of course because Home Depot is the most BORING place in the universe. I think you would reform more criminals if you just sent them to Home Depot and made them shop for hinges and stuff every day for however long their sentences were - the judge could be like " I sentence you to the Lighting Department!" and you would have to do hard time peeping at light fixtures for 2 years with time off for good behavior.  Being sent to Plumbing would be the equivalent of the Death Sentence. Anyhoo, while sitting there I noticed the car across from ours had a Club on the steering wheel - anyone from the 80's or so will recognize this device - it's this bulky do-hickey you lock on your wheel so no one will steal your Honda Civic. Honest to Gods - I have never seen a Mercedes or a Benz with a Club for protection, it's always a Gremlin-like vehicle that only the visually impaired or the Truly Desperate would cast their Thieving Gaze upon. I wondered about the owner and she came out - I just KNEW IT! It was a real live Fussy Pants and she very carefully unlocked her car with a real key (pre- electronic door opener) and then she UNLOCKED the Club and off she zoomed, safe and sound again! David finally came out of Home Depot before I developed a death rattle from sitting so long and we went to Ruby Tuesday that I LOVE and that's also where I'm going for my birthday. David said if I mention my birthday one more time I might not see 51, he is such a wet blanket. After dinner I couldn't stand it and we stopped at CVS for Peeps and a chocolate bunny. But I didn't get carried away and I even shared my bunny with David since he said he didn't want one and then not so secretly envied mine. Oh well, Easter comes once a year so what's a few peeps now and then?

2 comments:

Sinéad said...

Too funny! I know exactly what you mean about hardware stores. I call them life vampires, as the just suck the will to live from you. I think you might be on to something about the reforming of criminals! When we were in Florida a couple years ago, my hubby & brother in law spent at least 3 hours in Home Depot. 3 hours. My God.

Louellen Lawson said...

Home Depot bleck. Now Lowe's on the other hand ...not so bad. My husband is a carpenter/pumber/electrical things person and I normally don't go to Lowe's with him, but on the occasion that I do....I find one of those handy patio sets and have me a nice long RELAX....he can take his time. :)