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Monday, April 30, 2012

Bully For Me.

On face book some former classmates were posting about someone from our class that had passed away quite fondly. I posted too - but not fondly because that particular person had made it her mission in life to make sure I was humiliated every time our paths crossed - the more public, the better. It continued all through Jr high school - at that point in your life you don't need someone adding fuel to your fire and I had some  people at home telling me what a waste of air I was - I certainly didn't need it publicly announced. The bathrooms and locker room were the worst - what makes girls so much meaner in those areas than others? But I guess I was surprised that some people remember her quite kindly and having problems in her own way. Then I started think - people's perception of what I was in high school is pretty subjective too. Most remember me as a hard partier - I could smoke more dope than the best of them, there was very little I didn't try. But what a lot of people don't remember is - that was only  a year and a half - two years out of all my school years. No one seems to recall I was on the gymnastic team or was always on the Scenery Committee for our school plays. That I loved to write and thought the world of Mr. Osti, I hung out in the art room and home EC room. I knew how to knit and crochet and turned out afghans at an alarming rate.That I was a member in good standing with The Future Scientists Of America for almost four years and participated in Earth day every year.  No one remembers how troubled I was at times or that the reason I was gone for a couple of months in my senior year was because I was at a group home up the island getting the help I really needed. No one remembers that. So I guess perception is the part of a person that stands out - my quiet scenery painting or my science club was pretty nondescript, wasn't it? The girl that partied certainly wasn't - so I guess it's like that old adage of five blind men feeling an elephant and then being asked to describe the animal - and all the descriptions are different, yet all perfectly describe what an elephant is. We are all different aspects, we can only hope the one we think of as our true selves will be the one that everyone sees.

1 comment:

Sinéad said...

You make a good point that has me thinking about my school days too. Everyone always says I was the joker, the life & soul of the class, always ready to party. I was far from it. I guess we see what it suits us to see? I know I was guilty of missing things too.