Thursday, June 7, 2007
I was about to say I'm bored, but I'm really not. I'm just at that funny little place you hit once in awhile - everything is sort of bad, but not getting worse or better, stagnant. I have this constant feeling of - sadness? stress? I think the term used years ago was "meloncholy" - moping aboutness. Work has become a drudge, I keep plugging along with scary moments of stress - what did I forget or worse, WHO did I forget. I haven't forgotten anyone yet, at least I don't think so. I got bad news about one of patients that I've taken care of since I started, everytime I talk to the family I start crying, I just can't help it. One of the problems with home care is the chronic patients you see - it's difficult if not impossible not to become somewhat attached to them and thier families. Everyone is overworked and thumping about - I told my boss I was overwhelmed by work. The next day she suggested to get our hospitalization rate down (and it's not actually OUR rate, it's the other offices that is added with ours) we should see our patients MORE and call them! I think when she saw me wilt she said she didn't mean me specifically, she meant the nurse who's in the office. Sigh, that would be ME when I'm not out seeing patients. It's not her - everyone is just frustrated and crabby. And of course David is waving Maine under my nose all week - you can live near Kim! Swimming! Hiking! Wowee, look at that house! Stress stress and more stress. Jackson is done with school today, at least for the week. He starts back again on the 12th until the end of July. I haven't heard from Adam for a couple of days, I know he turned off his phone so I suppose I'll hear from him when I do.