1) The ACLU has never opposed military prayer (ACLU by the way, is an acronym for American Civil Liberties Union - you know the Freedom of speech people)
2) Your cell phone number IS not about to be handed over to telemarketers The cell phone companies are compiling a 411 book, so if you want you can just register with the Do Not Call list just in case.
3) There is NO secret phone number that your college age daughter can call that will immediately get in touch with the state police when a mass murderer is following her.
4) Woman who wear ponytails are no more likely to be raped than anyone else
5) If Swiffer WetJet is toxic to pets, I REALLY could've used one last week when it rained and the dogs hopped all over the couch full of mud
6) There is no band of car thieves that put stickynotes on your rear view mirror in the hopes that you'll get out and they can all hop in and zip off.
7)There is no missing child by the name of Penny Brown
8) No matter how many people you annoy with that email Bill Gates/McDonalds/Abercrombie and Fitch will NEVER send you money or a coupon.
Pass it on.