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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

DAY 597: I am still sick.

I finally broke and went to the doctor's - I'm on antibiotics and have been officially diagnosed as Bronchitis You Poor Thing. This of course doesn't get me out of work, I just keep trudging along and am  keeping away from any of my respiratory compromised patients.  When I got up this morning there was an email from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time - and when I had it was not pleasant. My Uncle's wife wrote me an incredibly mean and hurtful missive a couple of years ago and excluded me from her daughter's wedding - to this day I don't know why. When I called her house she refused to come to the phone or return my calls, like most cowards it's easier to send  poison pen letters than a real confrontation. Needless to say I've had no contact with any of them and over time have come to the conclusion it is definately for the better. And there she was this morning, on my computer - I did start to hit "read" and then stopped. After all, the last time had been pretty bad and it took me a long time to get over it. That would be when I realized - I don't care anymore. I really don't care if she's sorry, if she needs to tell me anymore awful things, if she wants to continue this one sided fight or end it, I just don't care. I don't even want to know why she said all those hurtful things or what I supposedly did - it simply doesn't matter because SHE doesn't matter.So I hit "report spam", deleted it entirely off my computer without opening it and reblocked her address, hopefully slamming shut that cyber gate for good.  Sometimes there's more freedom in letting go than hanging on. Of course that would be the same advice I'd give her when I push her off that bridge............

1 comment:

quiltsnroses said...

I say good for you.  That is, if you really really don't care, and if you are not going to let this nag at you in the back of your head, and go over it again and again in your mind and question yourself.  Sometimes we have to shut certain people out of our lives because they are hurtful and rude and cause us or our families misery, and just because they also happen to be a relative does not make it o.k.  Who needs that kind of abuse.  I bet there are a lot of people who have relatives they never see or talk to.   So good for you!