Sleepwalkers

Adam's flight left at 6 am this morning which would have been convenient if a) we resided in Pittsburgh and b) we could've dropped him off at 5:55 - neither of these things were true. So we got up at 1:45 am Jackson included, I badgered everyone through showers and coffee and we were on the road at 3 am. Good thing as not only had the temp dropped but it was snowing alot in Morgantown, we started to worry but as we neared the airport it cleared completely. We made good time, I waited with Adam until he got checked in and hugged him goodbye. I watched him walk towards the boarding area - new regulations don't allow us to go with him, he got further and further away, smaller and smaller. It's so odd that he's been out of the house for 5 years and it still doesn't get any easier. The urge to run after him, just one more day before he goes so far away from us again. And of course I cried, but I'm getting better, I made it out to the truck - I hate to cry in front of him as it makes him feels bad and guilty - and he shouldn't. Your children leave home for two reasons -either they hate you and can't wait to get away, or you've given them enough confidence to be able to explore the world and know you'll always be there to catch them if they need it. Adam has assured us it's the latter. I know he would've liked it to be longer, it's so easy to fall back into your family rhythm, isn't it? But we knew he couldn't stay and I think after awhile, he wouldn't have wanted to - but how easy it is to deeply wish that things stay the same forever? In a couple of weeks things will be back to normal, I know part of this is because he just left and honestly, we're all over tired. Jackson lucked out because today became a snow day for him so he'll be off to Becky's for the afternoon - but he'll come back. I miss Adam so much all over again.