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Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Things I Will Not Miss In West Virginia

1) Giant Insects - aside from the Wood Spider which can attain kitten-like stature, we also have the Luna Moth (4 inch wingspan) and some creepy thing that has like a billion legs and a big head that scuttles about. Just the mere thought of stomping these bloated creatures makes me want to puke

2)Mobile Home Transports - which they do CONSTANTLY. You never get to pass them on the highway, they're always coming toward you down the narrow winding road with no guard rails and take up 3/4 of the road. This leaves you perched on the side of the road with the 20 foot drop and no where to go

3)Thunderstorms - all the time. I've heard thunder booming on clear days. Storms roll in in minutes, Jackson and were walking from the bookstore to Lowes to meet David and in under 5 minutes the sky got night time dark and by the time we got to the truck the rain was coming down in sheets

4)No Zoning - at all. On one hand it's nice because you put in a pool, an addition, a garage,etc with no paper work. However, you're neighbors can have cattle in thier front yard, can build an addition out of an old school bus and tar paper and can pepper thier entire yard with junked cars and mobile homes.

5)The Smoking Thing - being an ex-smoker myself I understand the allure. However when doing a hospital admission data base and asking the COPDer who's in for pneumonia and can't even complete a sentence when he quit smoking and you realize HE HASN'T, well, that's too much even for me. David had a client who was dying of colon cancer and still smoking but said there was no relationship because "I blow the smoke out my mouth, not out my ass".

6)The Fake Low Taxes - it's true our taxes on this house are below $1000. But they whack you in a hundred other ways. $1400 to register the car and then there's the personal property tax.....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow....so much for the grass being greener on the other side.  I guess Dorothy was right, there's no place like home.  Come on back, I miss you Julia.

Anonymous said...

Stationed in El Paso, Texas our apartment complex was surrounded by desert. When I first got there I was warned, you see something long greenish and stick like don't touch it. Huh?? It's a Scorpion just call Maintenance we'll take care of it. Hell, I'd be on the 1st plane for NY running all the way to the airport, no time to phone anyone. Feet don't fail me now!! I slept w/ one eye opened.....I would have preferred a loaded M-16 under my pillow, but the Military shuns on you taking them home for personal use.
Forget Lightning storms the ground strikes would light up the entire desert and hit all around us, my X would hang on to the chain link fence surrounding the complex, yelling to me to come watch this....Not me I'm hiding under the bed, the man had a sick idea of entertainment and apparently Lightning doesn't hit chain link fences....sigh!
Food was cheap...but, they put mustard on burgers...Yuck!! Humidity zero even in 98 degree weather, your hair stayed "Frizz Free" for days on end, but w/o the Humidity you didn't know when Heat Stroke was setting in. Frizzy hair or Heat Stroke, now that's a toss up.
One day I'll fill you in on the German's driving on the Autobahns (Expressways) 8 lanes of drag racing (both ways,16 lanes total) of people that Don't adjust their driving no matter what the weather. Snow, sleet, hail, rain........Flying Monkeys.........Why go slower than 90mph.....L00K at those Stupid American's crawling along at 50......
The Moral of the story is. We all live in "Whack-O-land" at one time or another, but hopefully we get out before our Sanity goes belly up.
Like what I saw about your little community in Pennsylvania, wishing it's filled w/ only normal people. I'll rub a Rabbit's foot for you, just in case. Tally-Ho!!!~