All Things Considered, I'd Rather Be In Pittsburgh

So I'm off to Pittsburgh this morning for a coding class - and yes I know I took one, but this is specific to home health care. I drank a cup of coffee early - and then snuck another one down by the pot, I'm sure I'll be sitting in traffic later being VERY sorry about doing that. Work is busy reshuffling itself, there are two new visit nurses who are going to work part time so I'm sitting in on the orientation class as I will be eventually teaching it. It is fun being in the office though, I abuse my email daily by emailing my coworkers - the boss gets questions about The List which I keep posted by my computer so I can refer to it if I get bored. We have a list of offenses that if you do one, you will be Terminated. There's the usual stuff - apparently I cannot boost cars or terminate another person in any way shape or form - but then there's the odd ones. I cannot Traffic In Infants (are older children ok??), I can be fired for Stealing An Unpublished Drama or Musical, and my absolute favorite - there will be NO Involuntary Deviante Sexual Intercourse which will probably never happen as so far  no one has been able to figure out what that entails. I kind of think that it means if you're walking along and accidently have a sexual encounter with a cow or something that would qualify. This theory made everyone really laugh as I recieved a CowBear from David for Valentine's Day,sent to the office. And the kicker -this list only pertains to Pennsylvania, in West Virginia anything goes!