One More Day

So,  I will be 46 tomorrow, how strange is that. I have days that I'm actually amazed I'm that old now - I have all sorts of wrinkles and stuff and now understand the attraction of stretchy pants. I'm old enough to be a grandmother despite the fact I've been assured by all offspring I have only Grandcats and Granddogs to look forward to. I don't  feel that old most days, but on the other hand maybe I do and just don't realize it. I've been thinking a lot about the direction of my life and what I want to do with it - should I get a bit more into religion or is that just fear talking? There is a Buddhist group here by the way, but do I have time for it? I'll probably do what I've done my whole life, just let things unfold and deal with whatever appears. Next year Jackson will be graduating and that will open a whole new chapter of my life. David's been emailing me pictures of houses in Missouri believe it or not - but I told him we can't base where we live on the Arkansas flyaway (major duck hunting), he seems to think he can. That's down the road a bit and we'll probably end up staying here - West Virginia has become home for me, I'm very comfortable. I was out driving the other day and it dawned on me that I really know this place. That I navigate around it easily now without even thinking about it, I know where pretty much everything is. The idea of moving again is just tiring, even if it'll be right down the road or the next town. My job this week is overwhelming - I know it's because I've had to do visits on top of my regular job plus the looming spector of a full time nurse leaving with no replacement - I've fallen asleep at 8 every night this week from sheer exhaustion . But next week will be better and I already have a few irons in the fire and I'm taking off half a day on Monday so I can get my haircut and make an appointment to have this "temporary crown" (which has been in over a month now!) replaced. I guess I'm too busy to be old.