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Monday, March 19, 2007

We Did Expect It.

And in my head, I did expect it. But you never do in your heart, do you? No matter how bad it gets, there's still that small feeling that the calvary will come and save the day somehow. Some way.  Charger has been getting progressively worse, the past few weeks it's like it sped up or something. But we've noticed he'd been having more and more trouble standing, he was unable to get up on the bed in the morning. This weekend it became glaringly apparent there would be no more second chances. He's been to the vet, we increased his pain meds, he had blood work and still he declined. Yesterday he could not stand on his own. We put his bed and bowls in the foyer to keep him off the stairs - he'd fallen down a few in the basement earlier and David had to help him up. He laid and barked when he couldn't see us, I went and sat with him for most of the afternoon, but there was nothing I could do for him but sit and pet him. Today I met David at the vet's, he hugged Charger good bye and handed me the leash. They tried to weigh him but he wouldn't get up on the scale so I asked them to use the weight from the other day, what difference does it make now? The vet was nice, he found the vein right away, I could've cried with relief when I saw that brief flash of blood before he started - I couldn't have stood it if he had to start digging around for a vein. Charger went peacefully, quietly with his head in my hands as he's put it so many times before looking for his ears to be rubbed or a kiss on the nose. Jackson and I stayed for a few minutes - he looked so calm and peaceful! - then we left. I'm so sad now, I miss him dreadfully already, I think of him sitting quietly by my side under the trees outside while Pearl the Pest raced around, but I'm glad he didn't suffer. I hope he finds his way to Copper and I hope  with all my heart they'll wait for me.

4 comments:

quiltsnroses said...

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know you will miss your Charger a lot.  Our pets are our "forever" babies in the family, aren't they.  We had two wonderful dogs, each for 15/16 years.  It was so hard to make that last trip to the vet.  You have my sympathy, and I hope that the fun memories of Charger in your life will bring you some comfort.

mommareef said...

Sorry to hear about Charger.  I know just how you feel.  I still slip and refer to other dogs as Yoffee or Fritzie...they do touch our lives in ways we don't even realize.  
I know that Charger is with Copper now...they spent all their time together on earth and they'll spend all their time together now....I'm sure that's why Charger was so very ready to go.  He stuck around just long enough for you to get attached to Pearl so you wouldn't be without a dog.  I'm sure he's running around with Copper somewhere...probably telling Pearl stories!

mosie1944 said...

It's an empty feeling when they're gone, isn't it?  You've done everything possible for him.

lizzardweiss said...

I'm so sorry about Charger Barger. At least he wasn't suffering. I'll bet he's in Heaven with Copper getting some well derserved rest.

I love my cats, but there's something about dogs that makes their loss so much worse than that of other pets. That's a large part of why I don't have one now, although I keep threatening to get an Irish Wolfhound when we move to Maine.